Does anyone ever feel like their heart will burst from their chest to stop fighting with their brain?

[mychildsachild]

So I have the best marriage in the world apparently. Gorgeous husband who picks the kids up, goes shopping does the dishes etc. trouble is he's like a wife and I'm like the husband and it's just not sexy I can tell you!!! Sex isn't really his thing. I think he finds it stressful. I NEED it! I shared the most fantastic moment with a male friend the other night and thank god my head shouted loudest and stopped me! But oh my god the situation ticked lots of boxes!

Study leave has started in some parts of the country

trouble is he's like a wife and I'm like the husband

Are you asking what you should do about your (presumably) recently discovered penis?

Not sure what these comments are about!! I don't have a penis! I have washing and cooking and a lovely husband whose most passionate about his newspaper. I must be the only woman alive who fantasizes about being kissed in the dark unexpectedly then! Used to be able to get support on this website.

He's like a wife because he does the dishes and picks the kids up?

Yep! I want to pick my kids up from school. I want my jobs. I know that's old fashioned but I feel like I sit and watch my life happening rather than being in it. He never lets me do anything for myself, we never go out, we never talk, he never listens, we don't share anything but logistics. I'm not a bitch, I love him dearly but I think life is about having fun and sharing it and he dissagress!

Who works? You, both, neither? If other parts of your life were exciting and interesting maybe the annoying things he does wouldn't matter so much.
I was a SAHM with a DH who was away alot never did anything. Your life sounds pretty good to me.

I understand what you are trying to say.Though I can see why others sort of misunderstood or joked.From your original post, it could have been taken either way, and obviously was by some !
This is ringing a bell in my head.I have heard about it somewhere, maybe on a TV programme, and from what I can remember very little actually there is a reason for it.Will have a long think and try and get back to you.

Am remembering bit by bit, not drip feeding honest,from what I can remember it is an unusual sort of control .Cant remember any more for the moment.

You might want to post this in realationships, with a link to this if you wanted.But it might get a bit heated, or not get many more posts, not sure which way it would go.
And you might want to put a different subject heading such as "my man acts like a woman, and it is not sexy" or somesuch.
Just a thought, dont mean to offend.

Well I'm sorry but last time I checked being a wife/woman didn't depend on minding the children and washing dishes....unless I've wandered into 1950!

No one said it did "depend" on it. I'm very happy for you if your life has meaning. You should try being sidelined every day of your life. A few months ago I had a heart problem. I thought I would die and leave them all and the most profound feeling I had was that it didn't matter. when you get told to go and sit down every time your child asks you for something or you want to nip to the shop it starts to stick with you. I am of course allowed to do diy jobs. My DH does not see the point in having any fun between us as we have the children. When I had an encounter with a collegue a few weeks ago I had panik attacks, vomitting and crying for days afterwards. he is so sorry that he can't face me but now I look on it as excillerating. I had a trainer at the gym to lose some weight so my DH bought me some boxing gloves and pads so I could train at home instead, for my birthday!

I think you may have several problems, or it may be just one.
You say that a few months ago you had a heart problem.Did your DH change then and maybe overcompensate by being overcaring and wrapping you in cotton wool as it were,or has he always been doing absolutely all the chores?

No I've been choking slowly for years. I know I sound like a complete saddo but I was a dancer in a nightclub when I met him. I don't want that back again obviously but I just want to have some fun! It's not like I don't want fun with him, well not yet anyway but come on!!!
It must be hormones but I really want to drink too much champagne and breathless kisses and giggles sitting in the garden under a rug until it's too cold. Whats wrong with that?

How does he feel about everything?
Is he happy?
Does he think you are happy or does he know you are not?

What do u want from this, OP? ideas on how to rediscover your marriage? To decide whether your DH is controlling you? To find an excuse toeave him?
I'll be blunt, your posts don't make it clear and you found like an over excited puppy. How old are you and is he much older? More context and direction would help.

mychild there's obviously a lot more going on here. Your posts are a little scrambled. I hope you get the advice you want. I'm just not sure what it is??

Sorry about your health problems.

Mychildsachild, I do agree with most above. Not too sure what you're looking for.

First you need to talk to your H, if he doesn't know how you feel. If he does know then you need to tell him that it's making you miserable...

Nothing wrong with having fun together at all but you either need to do something you both find fun or if you have different interest and find time to go out on your own.

I can understand how it gets but there's lots to consider, does he have a stressful job? is he tired? does he feel bad for not spending enough time with kids which makes him feel like he should spend his free time with kids?

Me and my H do not spend a lot of time together 'out',we have a young child and we're both working so we're knackered most of the time and it's hard to find time sometimes to do things just for us. I can relate to you as I sometimes feel like I'd love him to come back home one friday night and say: 'look there's a table booked for dinner for two, and my mum will babysit all night so let go and have fun!' but it's not always that simple when there's a lot going on with work and house and kids...

Can you try to surprise him with something? Get him to remember that it's lovely to have time just for two of you?

Not sure if that helps at all...

It seems to boil down to you feeling .

a. you have no purpose? No-one needs you?

b. and your DH is boring and unsexy. WHich is possibly a different issue?

Is that right?

Have you had a talk with him about this?