He has gone

[mumblejumble]

So he has walked uot on me, what do I need to do?
I have 5 dc
What will I do?

I haven't told the kids yet

Has he gone for good or has he gone off in a strop?

You poor thing :( Was there any warning? How old are your kids?

What happened? Has he taken his stuff?

You poor thing.

Take it one day at a time, and you will survive. Post here for support and help.

I don't know. We had a bit of a row, but not huge. He walked out of the door. I asked him when he was coming back. He coldly texted me,"I won't be coming back".
Trying to hold it together infront of dc. They are 6 months, 2, 5, 7 and 9.
I asked him not to shout at the children and me, he has been shouty all weekend. So he waklked out. I don't know whatto think. Soz about typos, am nursing baby ds

Has he done anything like this before? You say he's been shouty all w/end ~ was there some kind of trigger?

I don't know, the usual money issues, nothing major, No huge debts lie alot of other people have. He said I make him miserable, I don't know how

Yes he has done it before, usually in the middle of the night, after I tell him he has upset me

Sounds as if you are well rid IMO.
Can you manage financially? obviously coping on your own with all those children will be a challenge, but one you will manage.

I am starting to see that I am bettter off, but I don't know how I will manage. One has autism, and I have no money. I think he has taken the car keys

I still think he might come back, all his stuff is here, I think he is trying to teach me a lesson or something. twat

I am feeling panicky now

He probably will come back, like last time. This will keep going on..... If you let it.

Call his bluff and put his stuff in bin bags outside. Go to council offices tomorrow to get benefits moving. You will be financially ok.

Excellent advice from Olympia. Think about taking it for your sanity.

Honestly, send a message that he is either on board with you all or he is GONE.

Go and get advice from the CAB and you will see that you are a lot better off than you think you might be.

be strong, he is trying to get at you by intimidation.

Did HE pick the fight? Is this a new thing he is doing? are there any other changes in his behaviour?

why dont you call him, say lets meet somewhere neutral i.e. a cafe and we can sit down and talk about our differences calmly without accusations or shouting

then you can both decide which way you want to go from there

Nobody decent does that to his family.
His wife maybe, but not his/her children.

It is his form of blackmailing you into not questioning him and making you "behave".

I'd just reply. OK.

Do you have family/friends nearby who can help you?

If/When he comes back you should let him know that next time he does this he should stay away because you won't accept him back.
Who can live with this insecurity?

Phone benefits office now and get advice for money you need to look after you and the kids, have you got family nearby that can lend a hand?, thinking of you take care you can get through this.

Has he come back?

If he is not back by the morning contact the benefits office and tax credits they will help, although it may take a few weeks. Does you dc with autism have a social worker? If they do ring them and tell them what has happened there will be emergency help. You can do this, I am doing it, although I don't have 5dc I have 2 both with sn. Be strong ((hugs))

Lock the door, be brave. If he's done it once, he'll do it a thousand times - and there is a marked difference between one partner saying 'I could do with a few hours out to think' and 'I'm going and never coming back'.

The latter is emotional blackmail. It's abusive. It's intended to hurt and scare you. How dare he!

Being a single mum to a large family is entirely do-able even with very little nursers - and so, so much more enjoyable, without the high drama of adult tantruming creating a turbulence you could well do without. Put your foot down and banish the selfish sod, for good.

He has come back, but isn't telling me where he went, and I don't think I care tbh.
I know it is over, but I am exhausted taking care of the kids, so for now am enjoying a rest while he is on good behaviour and doing a shift with the dc tonight.
I might just watch crap on tv and do some knitting.
I have told him that if he does it again to not bother coming back. I don't know if I can forgive him for creatin this situation, 9 year old knew something was odd, hee was so relieved to see his father back

Are you happy in your relationship?

I'd bet my bottom dollar that your exhaustion is caused as much, if not more so by the way you are being treated rather than motherhood (and we all know how tiring that is!).

He will do it again - but you already know that. Maybe have everything prepared (including your mindset) for when he does?

Take care.