Aspergers; inherited traits or in my mind?

[HairyBeaver]

Hi all!

I'm a lurker and from another thread to share my story and gain some advice if possible.

Im 27 and last year I met my real father for the first time, it became obvious that he has either aspergers or autism due to many things he said/did, long story and won't bore you with that. My half brother, his son, also has learning difficulties.

My 7 year old son has recently been diagnoised with ADHD and as a toddler showed asd traits.

I came across the AQ test this evening i got a score of 30, so above average.

I researched this further (and found this site) and found a list of common aspergers traits, i read them to my hubby (didnt tell them what it was for) and he said i had all those traits.

All my life i have felt "different". I would say my main "trait" would be that I. HAVE. TO. HAVE. A. PLAN. FOR. EVERYTHING! to the extenct that it drives my hubby mad, he doesnt understand that i have to have one, he thinks that i can control it but i really cant. I completly freak out if my plan changes dramictally. I also hate making friends, hate talking to people i don't know or phoning companies etc. I come across as rude but truth is i just hate talking to people

Do you think I have inherited "traits" from my father and then passed adhd onto my son?? Am I too old to get a DX? How do I go about getting a DX?

Thank you for reading my epic post and look forward to all advice

I believe it can be hereditary. Im not an expert by any means but i think there are links between asd and adhd.

My own dad and brother both have signs. Some similar symptoms and others quite different. I suppose the same thing can affect people differently. My dad possibly adhd, my brother asd. Possibly other things going on there as well.

My oldest child is unaffected but my youngest is too young to tell.

To get a diagnosis you need to see your Dr. You are not to old to do this.

Perhaps you could look for support groups which you might find help?

I would recommend you look at this thread.

Ask your question there, there are lots of people with a lot of experience on this subject.

You can have a dx as an adult. You just need to go and see your GP but be aware that due to government cuts, it might not be easy (depends of your area).
I would also recommend that you read about the subject. Obviously there is no cure but knowing about it can allow you learn better ways to cope with some situations. This is also true for your DH. I am sure he would find it helpful and enlightening.

Hi PooPoo (love the name btw) thank you for your reply. I have signed up to a site for aspergers/asd too :)

I think I just feel silly going to the drs and think they will think im mad or just laugh at me :(

No no reason at all.
Go there, explain what you have just told us (the ned to have a plan, your father etc...) Explain about the test online.

I am sure your GP will understand and will not think you are mad :)

The Dr won't laugh or think you are mad! They might ask why you want to be assessed so perhaps think about that first. If it were me i would want to be assessed so that i could finally understand myself.

Thats exactly it poopoo, I want to know so i can understand myself and know that theres a reason for why i act the way i do :)

thank you everyone :)

Ring the National Autistic Society helpline. They are really helpful and will send you a list of places that you can get diagnosed near you on the NHS and privately. Beware privately can be very expensive. There aren't as many places that diagnose adults as there are for children. Once you have this list, ring around to find out where you want to go, then go to the GP and ask to be referred there. The PCT have to give permission first and might say no. Then you have to appeal (the NAS also will tell you how to do this). The whole process is lengthy as after you have PCT approval, then the waiting list starts. But you will get there in the end. Everyone is entitled to be assessed. Good luck.

I have some expertise, having an 18 year old DS with ASD and an MEd in Children's Autism and many children are diagnosed with ADHD when young, then by the time they are about 11 the diagnosis is changed to Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Aspergers Syndrome (AS). 16 years ago, when DS2 was first diagnosed, the genetic link was thought to be very small, now it's acknowledged to be far higher.

Hi HB, both of my sons have Aspergers traits (one diagnosed one not), as do several of my nephews, my father and me (scored 34 btw). The common link is my dad and I'm convinced there is a very strong genetic line with Aspergers. It's less common in women but the characteristics you describe certainly fit some of the criteria. Like you I felt 'different' all my life but it was only when DS2 was diagnosed with Aspergers that it all made sense.

We got a diagnosis for DS2 because it gives access to additional help and resources at school. For adults there's less need but I found that accepting it in myself explained a lot of things which had subconsciously bothered me all my life and I am much happier and more relaxed as a result, it also helps my DW to understand some of the odd things i apparently do.

The GP won't laugh, you've got plenty of grounds for at least considering it. Resources are centred around children so you may struggle though. Like many Aspergers people I significantly under achieved at school, thanks to the hope that DS2 is getting he should do much better I hope.

Hi, my dad is definitely aspergers (ex-chess champion, zero social skills etc.) My mum also suspects she may be. DS has just been diagnosed with asd, my cousin has classic autism.

My GP is fobbing me off at the moment, hell bent on diagnosing me with depression. She says most women with young children are and I must be one of them

Devilinside, that makes me so cross! Have you read the autobiographies of women with Aspergers Syndrome? I find it interesting that fewer women have been diagnosed with AS, but proportionately far more women have published their life stories about it. I would recomment Wendy Lawrence, Donna Williams & Temple Grandin - there is also a film of her life starring Clare Danes, I think it's just called Temple.