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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trying to move on...

2 replies

Butterflygp · 18/05/2012 15:56

My story's pretty long so I hope you don't get board, though there is enough drama to keep you awake!

I was 18 when i met my now DH,we went traveling to Australia and when returning home to the uk found out we were expecting our first child, we were shocked but we both were happy and decided to give the ozzy dream ago.

We were happy things were tough sometimes but we got through and seem to be in love, we married and had our second child 16 months ago.

That's when things seemed to change a little, I was 8 months pregnant the first time my DH came home without his wedding ring on, he said at the time it was just out of habit because he worked in the building trade he would take it off.

Life when on my daughter was born and he got really busy with his new bisiness I moaned at him for working so much and then coming home to more work or more social things with his mates, I was always left at home looking after the kids and also being in a country without my family was hard.

I always tried to do nice things for us... I made a effort with the way I looked, I went back to college looked after the kids and kept a lovely home, I was also up for a laugh and enjoyed being with him. A few months later I found something on the Internet he had put him self on a singles sex website, I was so shocked there were naked pictures of him self laying on our bed, I had always had a high sex drive so it wasn't like he was so deprived.

I slapped him round the face but also forgave him, 4 months later he came home fell in bed, I place my hand on his hand and cuddled up to him I knew them that was something missing... His ring I creeped out of bed to find in his pocket.

How could I have been so stupid.. Why me? Our poor kids.

A few weeks later he came home and said " I love you, but I'm not in love with you" he left Easter Saturday, I was now the other side of the world at 23 years old with a baby and a toddler.

I had a brief breakdown and ended up in hospital, I do feel better but feel so confessed, I am currently on holiday in my home town where I'm seeking support from family&friends my kids are ok and are enjoying meeting there family, I'm trying to be brave.

Since him leaving I took some money from our bisness account for me and the kids, so we can set up home again, buy a small car and start over, this got him very Angry and now he won't talk to me his cut me and the kids out of his life.

I want to move me and the girls back to the uk as I have so much support here and don't feel I can do it alone, I have to go to court in Ozz and fight for this.

I know there his children and I want them to have a relationship with them but why do I have to stay somewhere I'm not happy because he got board and left?

We went to live the dream now it's a nightmare. Please help!

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/05/2012 17:17

Sorry you've had this experience. Yes, once you have children, you are rather saddled with their father, good, bad or indifferent. That's the deal. If, however, he has cut you and the children out of his life already, it may be worth simply coming back home and, if he can be bothered, let him fight to change your mind. Courts usually plump for what's best for the children and, by the time any court-case came around, they'd be nicely settled back in the UK and it would be a serious upheaval to expect them to go back to Australia.

mummytime · 18/05/2012 17:45

Are you in the UK now?
If so start to build a new life, and get legal advice.
Have you or him started a divorce in Oz? If not start that in the UK.

I wouldn't return to Oz to start fighting the case unless the courts make you.

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