He is passive aggressive, How do I deal with that?

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When he comes to pick up baby he refuses to talk to me, when I try to get his attention he turns on me and calls me a liar a bad mother and that I should earn his respect to be called mummy in front of our child.
We are in the hands of the Courts and I feel I am not being supported by my solicitor as I am getting Legal Aid and He is getting away with making stress out all week up to the day he picks baby up, and then pushing me to react to his guilty remarks

I had legal aid, so did XP. I felt like everyone would believe his lies because up until then everyone did. My legal team was brill, court lasted ages but went my way spectacularly in the end. There's a lot in your post you only hint at. What is "try to get his attention"? What is the stress he is making and why do you think getting legal aid means you'll get a raw deal?

This evening when he came to pick baby up he ignored me and pulled baby out of my arms without acknowledging me, I had some thing to give to him in a bag and he just snatched it out of my hand. as he was walking away he dropped his keys as he bent to pick them up I said goodbye to my baby and He said to her 'say good bye to Helen' I replied 'mummy?' he laughed and said 'you have to earn that'....Every week when he comes to my mothers front door to pick baby up I stress over what he will be like and what he will say about me and our situation whether he will call me a liar, bad mother, irresponsible, the list goes on..I try to remain calm and happy for my baby but he just twists the knife.
I feel that if i paid for my legal fees in full would i get a more aggressive committed solicitor, I feel unsupported by my legal help?

Nothing to say really, except what a total wanker. He is being deliberately mean, and I guess you need to try and ignore him and pretend he is an oversized toddler and behaving as such. No person has the right to say you need to earn "mummy", that really is nasty, but maybe think of him as very limited. Have you spoken to your lawyers about your concerns both regarding him and them? I assume you are in court about contact as part of a divorce? Can he collect your baby from a third party so you don't have to be involved, your mother perhaps? Are you happy that he is behaving himself around the baby? Can you collect evidence of what he is doing and saying?

There is something about men and relationship breakups (with kids involved) that turns them into toddlers, maybe it is a scientific phenomenon. They just seem to revert to child-like behaviour. Or it might just be my experience.

to clarify, "evidence of what he is doing and saying" - when he talks to you as part of the handover of the baby... I wasn't suggesting a nannycam in the oversized teddybear.

That's not passive aggressive, that's just aggressive. He resents you for whatever reason and is using the short time he sees you when picking up the child to make you feel as bad as possible... and succeeding. That's his little bullying window of opportunity. I wouldn't let a person like that take my baby from me for any length of time. I certainly wouldn't let them in my home. Can't you withhold access until the court-case has been finalised?

I agree, there is nothing passive about it. I would keep a diary so that you have a log. He is going to damage the child if he uses him/her to get at you. Could you get family mediation?

You MUST record all this. On your phone?

This is evidence for court.

What they said, and also, try to remember he says nasty things because he is nasty, not because you are.

as he bent to pick them up I said goodbye to my baby and He said to her 'say good bye to Helen' I replied 'mummy?' he laughed and said 'you have to earn that'

He is not passive aggressive - that is openly aggressive and confrontational.
What an absolute arsehole!!

Agree with all above especially daffdowndilly and getting a third party/your mother to do the hand over. Detach as much as you can and only respond to texts/emails/phone calls etc if it is regarding your DD. Also look at.doing what Cogito says. He is a.piece.of work.

The next time he chucks a barb at you respond 'sorry but you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a rat's arse what you think...'

Then walk away. Time to stand up for yourself.

Thanx everyone for your comments, a real confidence boost fo me I appreciate all of it.
We are going through courts currently, and he is trying to compromise me into looking like an aggressive bad mother whilst forgetting his own outrageous behavior with guilt trips and conveniently forgetting what he has done to me.
The day of court in April he posted a thread on facebook via twitter I quote...'Have managed to negotiate something till September, no need to drown her but lets hope a bus does the honors some time soon'...... amongst other remarks like Get a Hitman, Brick her, the list goes on. I have reported this to facebook and Twitter and also to the Police, my solicitor has pointed this out to him as unacceptable behavior also and he is not doing him self any favor with trying Parental Alienation.
Phew...
Life has been so hard of late it is nice to hear support and constructive advice from other thank you x x

We are using third party for handovers from now on and have asked for mediation AGAIN as he has refused in the past .as we need to air our views in a neutral environment away from our daughter.

Be careful OP, he sounds awful. Do you have a friend or family member that can be with you when you do the hand over?

Wow, you really shouldn't have to put up with that. How nasty. And he is very aggressive. At least you're not still with him, so that's one thing to be thankful for!