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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't Forget Him

17 replies

Teansympathy · 17/05/2012 20:30

Okay so here is the bare face truth met a lovely guy 3 years ago, we had great time together, hit it off instantly, BUT he was going through messy divorce the usual whilst I had been on my own for 4 years , anyway he had to go abroad for work and pay maintenance, we kept in touch he came home regularly to see his DC, but then the work has taken him to the other side of the world. I met someone else and have been seeing them for 14 months although he does not live near me, BUT throughout this time my old friend has kept in touch and wanted to see me again, I said NO, he agreed and we left it at that . But last week he was home and wanted to see me I was going away to a wedding , but really would have met him given half the chance. I wish I could forget him the guy I am with is a good friend but I dont feel half of what I do for my friend abroad, tell me to get over it and grow up!.

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izzyizin · 17/05/2012 21:04

It seems to me you've got unfinished business with the 'lovely guy' you met 3 years ago, and that you won't be able to make a go of another relationship until you've discovered whether he still lights your fire - nor would it be fair for you to string another man along while you're hankering after him..

Is he in the UK or has he returned to 'the other side of the world'??

Teansympathy · 17/05/2012 21:12

What you say it true , and i do feel guilty about my new partner, but yes the lovely guy still lights my fire, but is on the other side of the world till when i do not know , so where does this leave me?

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Teansympathy · 17/05/2012 21:15

What you say it true , and i do feel guilty about my new partner, but yes the lovely guy still lights my fire, but is on the other side of the world till when i do not know , so where does this leave me?

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Teansympathy · 17/05/2012 21:19

I mean I have tried to move on , just did not expect him to keep in touch especially with the long distance between us.

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akaemmafrost · 17/05/2012 21:19

Going on lots of lovely holidays to see him? That's what I'd do. I love a bit of long distance though. Get bored with the every day stuff Grin.

Teansympathy · 17/05/2012 21:30

Thanks akaemmafrost appreciate your thoughts

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mrsolympic2012 · 17/05/2012 21:38

If you are both single, then there is no reason why you can't rekindle what you had.
You might have to risk losing both men if man no. 1 doesn't work out and meanwhile you have had to ditch man no. 2- but hey- that's the risk. Can you take it?
Seems like he feels the same about you- so shame not to at least try and see?

Teansympathy · 17/05/2012 21:41

Yes we are both single and i do know he feels the same way about me but he is scared because of the distance thing and he said before he could not ask me to wait for him or even expect it, but god you only live once dont you!, and YES it is very scary!!

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izzyizin · 18/05/2012 01:51

If he's already left the UK after his visit, I suggest you get in contact with him and say you missed the opportunity to catch up with him as you had a longstanding arrangement to attend a wedding (not your own, joke, ho ho ho) and take it from there.

You can be on the other side of the world in under a day and you can also Skype or use Windows live messaging or similar to stay in touch... what's stopping you?

izzyizin · 18/05/2012 01:55

Why do have to 'wait' for him? Has he signed up to the Foreign Legion or a monastery? If not, you can holiday where he's currently living, or maybe even find work there and relocate.

This is one those situations that has the potential to cause bitter regret in the future if you don't get it out of your system now.

Teansympathy · 18/05/2012 07:04

Thanks izzyin, sensible words and thoughts, and yea we need to talk and figure something out ,thanks again.

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Teansympathy · 19/05/2012 09:00

Big thanks to you all supporting me have ditched Man No2 and been in contact with my old flame, it was great to talk and talk and talk , what a blessed releif!

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MushroomSoup · 19/05/2012 22:43

Oooh Tea how brave! And what a great new start for you. Is Old Flame happy with this turn of events?!

izzyizin · 19/05/2012 23:10

From what you've said on your other thread, I somehow don't think there's any potential for you to regret dumping him at some future date Grin

Teansympathy · 20/05/2012 12:35

I know just that we have been together for 18months always got on when he came to me I admit I liked the company, and we had fun so that is why i find it soo hard to dump him, sad though it sounds.

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Teansympathy · 20/05/2012 17:26

You guys are right I need to do it and do it now!

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Teansympathy · 20/05/2012 21:53

Mushroom thanks and yes old flame very happy with this turn of events thanks for your support x

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