Maybe some wise MNs can put some perspective on this for me. I am very close to my friend of 30 years. She's having a rough time- almost a breakdown- over her marriage and I am struggling a bit to see the wood for the trees. We talk a lot and I try very hard not to take sides.
But this is the situation- in brief.
After years of mostly stormy marriage, she has issued a divorce petition on grounds of unreasonable behavaviour. This was prompted by him admitting he had taken a colleague out to dinner- half way across the world- so no chance of seeeing her again or often- but he admits he was tempted.
The point is, she issued the divorce petition as much in anger and frustration as anything- and now doesn't really want to pursue it. But he has reacted , not by saying he is 100% committed to making the marriage work, although he says he wants that, but that sometimes he feels ambivalent- and not sure if he can really meet her expectations- and that perhaps it is better that they call it a day.
Should she be willing to wait for him to make up his mind and ditch his ambivalance- he's got an appt with a lawyer to see how he stands- or should she end it because he is not 100% certain that it can work?
She is also wondering if he lacks the balls to actually push on with divorce, is dithering in a calculated way, so that she will get fed up and carry on with the divorce without im having it on his conscience by "divorcing her".
She keeps asking me if she ought to tell him to FO as he is unsure if it will work- but she wants the marriage to work.