How do you manage to keep your relationship alive when you're knackered?

[Gotosleepffs]

Ds 2 13 mo and still up in night, up at 5am and I'm back at work. Have no energy for my dh and it worries me. I know the sleep will eventually get better but what will have happened to our relationship by then? We are strong tbh and I'm hoping we'll just weather the exhaustion and get the spark back. But age old prob of differing libidos... I feel too tired to paint my toe nails let alone feel sexy! What is your experience?

Do you have relatives that would take him for a weekend and allow you to get away somewhere together? I occasionally used to pack mine off to the CM, book a day off work, and we'd have a duvet day.

Time out is definitely a good idea. Any time really just do something fun and relaxed and non demanding. We always like to go out to eat but whatever works for you.

Also why not make end of the day collapsing on the sofa an event sometimes? Bottle of wine, takeaway or decent ready meal, candles? a bath together? something you both like to watch together or cook something new and a It's easy but makes you feel a bit more special and talk and have fun. You could make it a weekly thing taking turns to decide on food/entertainment etc. and then one of you will feel spoiled each week and you know you have that time to look forward to together.

I'd did the short sharp shock with both my kids when they were babies who wouldn't sleep through the night. It worked well and very quickly for me.
Can't remember exactly but you'll find on the internet. You put them to bed. Leave to cry for so long. Then go in and say in low, calm voice, but without picking them up ' it's ok, off to sleep', then they cry some more. You do that again and keep being reassuring but not lifting them. Eventually they learn to sleep through. took about 3/4 nights I think. Bit upsetting for everyone initially but worth it (IMO) as it meant I got some much needed sleep so I could look after them properly during the daytime.
Some people disagree with letting babies cry at all. It was a kind of desperate tactic for me at the time and recommended, again at that time but few years back now, by the health visitors.

All good suggestions. Cogito, I do have relatives but ds still bf so don't think he'd manage an overnight. We have gone out for the evening a couple of times but recently he's been waking early in eve, which makes leaving him a chore as the relatives aren't that well acquainted with him (sigh). I think cm a good idea - just need to persuade husband to take day off - duvet day sounds bliss.
Girl -yes that is def something we could try without too much effort. How do you guys make time (plus energy) for sex though?
loving I dont't have a problem with cc if it works, but our ds is not consistent enough for it - he changes his sleep,patters all the time!

One bottle of formula at bedtime? I was a staunch breast feeder but did resort to this, again for sake of sanity. Did the trick in buying a few hours of peace.

answer: if DH isn't entirely as knackered as you by bedtime, something's wrong with the division of labour in your house

LOL, something is definitely wrong with the division of labour in our house! (hmm)

garlic mmm good point ....

Sometimes all you need is a bit of a cuddle on the sofa and some intimacy, a tickle, massage or just touching (non sexual). It makes you feel closer and more intimate and may make you feel a bit more like sex.

It's the little things that count when you are so tired, offering a cup of tea, a bum squeeze, your favourite bar of chocolate brought home, or just some compliments (all done by either of you).