am trying to stride on towards divorce but finding it hard to ignore my dcs minus a dad. advice on how to be the grown up and try and get him to have a patent relationship without him pulling my str

[BambiEyes]

Title says it..have been trying to get back together but it will never work..taken me over two years to realise this.a previous thread on mumsnet helped me to move into action but because I have put conditions on his contact with dcs..at duplicitous and friends and my own advice, it seems like he is going to ignore contact.when I have lovely moments with my little dcs I almost feel guilty for stbxh as he is out on this and know he would see my supervised contact only conditions as tantamount to barring contact..

I'm afraid the title doesn't say it all and more information is needed before anyone can give an informed opinion.

Has your stbx moved out and, if so, does he currently have contact with the dc?

How many dc do you have and how old are they?

Why are you proposing that their df only has contact with them providing it's supervised, and where are you proposing that this supervised contact takes place? In a contact centre or other venue?

To avoid any confusion, I would suggest you report your other post which seems to have been made in error and ask mumsnet to delete it.

Sorry I know that was vague.I deleted my first thread as I was worried there were to many identifiers.me and him not lived together for well over a year but kind of had on off part time relationship.do not want unsupervised contact, on advice from previous mumsnet thread and solicitor, as is from a country that do not recognise our marriage our any rights to me as mother.if he ever took them to spite me,I would never see my 2 and 4 year old dcs again.he made reference to doing this once when DC 1 was a baby and I had PBS. Dh lives in a bedsit and smokes weed daily.do not like him driving dcs.he has been emotionally and sometimes verbally abusive to me in front of them and will not stop when asked when he is angry. All this said,I think he would be a much better part time dad a he is not consistent or patient around them when trying to spend more time together.I text him last night and is sticking to his guns about wanting to see them alone and,I think, not seeing them until he gets his own way

Post natal depression..not PBS.! I suggested either contact centre or with family of mine that he used to see DC with.yesterday I said with me there, tho I would rather not as has been emotionally abusive rel and need time away from him.I would see him tho if it meant the DC get a rel with him..