what if there HAS to be something wrong with them

[Alameda]

. . . in order for men to like you? If you only ever attract men with weird characterological problems but are trying not to have sex with such people very often are you doomed to celibacy do you think?

You mean like these weirdos that date convicts on Death Row?.... Celibacy would at least mean they didn't pollute the gene pool.

It's not like that. There might be something wrong with you in that you don't automatically turn away at the first hint of such weirdness.

I used to really not 'get' sane, normal, nice men so they were kind of off my radar. The tragic and the angry, though, I related to with ease. Try focusing on decent people instead of angsty ones :)

no not death row !

'off my radar' yes maybe that's it, so how did you rewire yourself?

Have a look on the emotional abuse recovery threads :) Lots of good tips there.

I'd say the mumsnet relationships 'hive mind' is generally pretty good at value-resetting. It helps to name the weird behaviours, which is why we so often do, as well as to get feedback on what Decent Man would do/say in a given situation.