Friends

[danablue]

Have a friend I have known for around 7 years or so and we used to spend so much time togeher. It was great, we are so compatible and felt like I had known he years from the onset. The last couple of years have been hard on her, some family and friend health issues which have sort of settled down now but during this time we saw less of each other which was understandable as she got very busy. The problem is she is still 'very busy' seeing other people and doing everyday stuff (neither of us work), but I hardly see her at all now. When I try to arrange a meetup she is always so busy, sometimes with 'other friends'. Naturally I have other friends too but I would always prefer to be with this one friend more than anyone else as I consider her to be my best friend. We have never discussed if I am her best friend, I dont see how I can be if she is making so much time for other people. Bottom line is, I miss her so much and want to see more of her. How do I found out where I stand with her in terms of how important I am to her.

Ask. You can phrase it that you don't see as much of her as you'd like, that you miss her company and that you've always thought of her as a special friend.... but say that if she doesn't feel the same way, you'll understand and good luck or whatever.

could she be avoiding you as she's jelling a secret and can't bear to face you?
my friend did this, I found she was seeing a fella I was also supposed to be courting,
just a thought?

That sounds a bit final and letting go. I do tell her I miss her, she doesnt reciprocate . I sent her a text earlier saying it was a shame she was busy as I don't see as much of her as I used too. Said I felt our friendship had been fading away the last couple of years. I have yet to recieve a reply, have to say I feel really sad and sickly at the moment. It will probably go one of two ways, she will be nonchalant and flippant about it saying she has stuff to do, or it will definateley be the beginning of the end . We were so close, no differences, no arguments, I think her life has just got busier and mine hasn't.

The harsh fact is that it would seem to be apparent that, although you may consider her to be your best friend, she doesn't reciprocate your feeling.

I would suggest that, instead of trying to arrange meetups with her, you wait to see if she makes contact with you.

If you try to find out where you stand with her, I suspect you'll discover that you're of considerably less importance to her than she is to you. Although it could be that she'll tell you otherwise, I doubt that she'll put her words into actions in terms of meeting with you on a more regular basis.

The nature of our friendships may undergo many changes over the years. Don't take it to heart if what appear to be close friendships fall by the wayside, or fail to fulfil their earlier promise, as either ourselves or the other parties may not always have the time or the inclination to nurture them.

We used to be together almost every day exercising, then it was 3 times a week, then once, then just social. Now its once every two or three weeks. We still have great times together, the only difference being I would choose her over anyone else. I miss her so much, shes like family to me.

She may be family to you but I don't think she sees herself anything like the same way. Maybe she thought you were spending too much time together and it was getting too intense?

aww that's pretty crap OP.

sems to me that your friend has moved on while you have stayed the same.

Perhaps you remind her of her past troubles which she'd rather forget?

It's not a reflection on you but just that she needs a new life now.

Pretty rotten to just cast someone off like that but your persistance in this may make you look needy and therefore less likely of being her mate I'm afraid.