This isn't terribly coherent as I'm upset.
DH's job involves a lot of moving around, which in principle I am fine with. These moves can be at short notice and for anywhere between 1 and 3 years. Every year around this time of year he starts talking about potential moves for 15 months time. So we are moving this year for a planned 3 years and he's now talking about potential moves for Sept 2013 and asking how I would feel about x or y.
He knows there's only one place I really want to go to and that's also where a job he really wants is, that he would be brilliant at and would probably stay in forever, and it's a possibility every year but competition is pretty fierce and DH has a minuscule chance of landing that position. Still he applies for it every year, gets confirmation that it won't happen in March and is making plans again in May.
I have been quite unhappy where we are now and where we're moving to is a good second best, where I was looking forward to spending 3 years in a way, and now he's thrown this at me again and I just feel like its never going to happen. I can't go through this every year but I don't know how to talk to him about it. I think he thinks he's being sensitive by consulting me when really I'd just rather he threw his hat in the ring and announced he'd got it because then I would be thrilled, for him and for me, but I can't do this hoping and waiting and planning but not planning indefinitely.
How can we sort this out? It's making me feel that we want fundamentally incompatible things. I want a measure of stability for us, DS most of all, but it's feeling like he's obsessed with this post and never stops talking about it.