Please help me move on from this once and for all!

[lookingforwardtothefuture]

Iv been separated from my soon to be ex husband 22 months. We were together 10 years and have two children.
I ended our marriage and he agreed. Moved on very quickly (dating site within 6 weeks).
I suffered PN depression and he wasnt very supportive. I would describe him as a bit emotionally constipated! He didnt have much to say on anything. I felt very alone for many years. (Not blaming him completely as I was very depressed).
The thing is I regret ending my marriage and theres nothing I can do about it! He met his now gf within a couple of months and has the life he wants.
He moved on and never looked back. I told him I had made a mistake and Im a completely different person I once was but he said its all gone. Too late.
I need to move on but I find it difficult.
Can anyone relate to how I feel? Maybe give me some words of wisdom?
It physically hurts sometimes and I want it to go away!

You don't say why the marriage ended but, if he didn't put up many objections at the time, it was probably the right thing to do. However it finished and whoever finished it, it is very difficult to be the one still in the starting blocks watching the other sails into the sunset without a backward glance. When they seem to have it all - the new romance and a marvellous life - it's easy to feel resentful and think 'that should be me'. If the situation was reversed and you had the new romance and the lovely life I doubt you'd be regretting anything at all.

I think you have to accept that the chapter has closed, resist the temptation to do the 'I've made a mistake' thing again, and make a big effort to develop your life in a different direction. Good luck

Yes. I agree with cogito.

I think - when thoughts of him pop into your head, manually replace them with 'Yes, but what am I doing next??'

I'd make a list of all the things you always wanted to do and didn't get the chance. I'd get into some sort of fitness. I'd dust off old hobbies.

When tears come (but I'm not ready to think these things!!! or But I am gutted!!!) let them come, cry, and then get up on the other side and start again. Notice that these things happen less and less.

Try not to hear anything new about him at all. The old thoughts will soon get boring. I think there's an element of waiting that has to happen as well, waiting for time to pass I mean.

Is it all coming back at you again because he is your "soon to be" ex?

Op, know it is not easy . If you re-read your post, nothing in it describes a supportive or satisfying relationship. And he moved on. Perhaps you are not currently where you want to be, but it sounds like the marriage was not where you wanted to be either. There are better things around the corner, you just can't see them yet x

Why would you want to go back to relationship where you felt alone for years? I don't think you do, i think you are just dealing with seeing him move on but its not HIM you want.

Cogito.. Thanks. I think this is very true, Its when things are tough I start thinking about what could of should of been. Its been a tough 2 years and when I feel like Im getting somewhere something happens and throws me a little.
Something.. Thanks. I agree with allowing your emotions but its been so so long. Im trying to do all of those things.
amillion.. We are half way through the divorce yes but I think its like I mentioned when times get tough.
Blink.. Thanks. I know your right maybe its cos Im not where I want to be. Im working on it I really am. Just so many ups and downs over 2 years as he seems to be getting along nicely. Cogito is right if things were good for me would I honestly look back? Im hoping not.
Poo.. Thanks. You are right. You are all right. I tell myself this but hearing it off others help so much.
Thankyou everyone :)

Listen... my exH and I split up 18 years ago leaving me heartbroken and completely skint into the bargain. Even though I have never seen him since, I know via the grapevine that he has since done well in his career, is married to a high-flyer (our OW), they have a fancy place in St Johns Wood, two kids and all the trappings. I've never remarried, have one fabulous DS (not his) and, whilst a lot about my life is excellent and I love my independence, in low moments I feel envious that I seem condemned to struggle on alone whilst Mr Nasty comes up smelling of roses. Funnily enough, I do not believe in Karma.... :)

It gets easier over time. Don't worry.