Will it ever go away?

[keelybooboo]

Back story... Found out last march that dh had had an affair with woman from work. Had gone on for 3 months slept together once

He ended it immediately on discovery and has been open and transparent on everything since, answered all questions honestly etc

I made the decision to stay and try and get through this... Married 15 yrs this yr 2dc 15 and 10

Was going ok and actually felt like we were stronger as a couple until around Xmas time when I appear to have been in free fall mode

First I became very friendly with male colleague x an had far too much text contact that was v inappropriate ie discussing marriage probs etc. that has ended now.

Secondly since loosing so much weight and becoming more confident with my appearance I have been going out with friends and to clubs and stuff which is fine but each time I end up dancing and snogging different men

I am not doing it to hurt dh I hurt him enough with the ea with mr x. Yes I told him about it

I just don't know where my fucking heads at...

All I know is that I would NEVER have even dreamed of doing these things before D day

Will the pain ever go away??

He isn't the man you thought he was and not surprisingly you have lost respect for him - its very hard to actually like someone who has hurt you so painfully and wrecked your life.

My advice is to view this as a new relationship - you can't go back to the marriage you had so you both need to build a new one.

That's what I've been doing for the last year mad, and this relationship is better, more balanced, better communication, better sex. But whilst all that is great I'm still left with this gnawing feeling in my gut that says he just can't love me as much as I thought he did if he was able to do those things...

Just sent an email to a therapist in my area, how the hell do you pick one from a list of 50+? I just went for the name at the top!

Ask for someone experienced in dealing with infidelity - not all therapists are.

Good luck :)