Waiting for an important phone call..

[Inadeeptrance]

I've reposted from chat, as I could do with any advice from you lovely ladies on here. Also we still haven't heard anything and don't know whether to do anything or not...

DH doesn't know his biological father. His mum got pregnant at 16 when his Dad was 18, and when they split up when DH was a toddler, his biological Dad decided not to stay in touch. DH hasn't seen or heard from him since.

DH's mum has been with his stepdad since DH was about 3 and DH calls him Dad. He's not wanted to bring the subject up with his Mum, so as not to offend his stepdad. Recently his mum brought up the subject with me, and we had a chat about it, and she said it was ok if DH wanted to find out more about his real dad.

We have a one year old DS which has made a difference to the way DH feels about it and for the first time he has been wondering more about where he comes from.

To cut a long story short, DH got some details about him from his mum, stalked him on facebook traced him and wrote him a letter a couple of weeks ago. On Thursday last week he had a reply via email. His Dad just said he'd received the letter and asked if DH had a mobile number he could contact him on. shock

DH replied Thursday night, and has been on pins waiting for a call since. It's now Sunday and he's not rang.

We're both getting a bit twitchy now, though DH is being more laid back about it than me! blush

I never was good at playing it cool about things like this though, if it was me I'd have scared him off by emailing him being all needy by now. grin

When is he going to ring? Whyyyy hasn't he rang yet??

Obviously I can't say all this to DH, so please come and keep me company while we wait. And give me your psychic answers to the above questions also please..

I don't know how old your DH is but, after all this time, the missing Dad is probably having second, third and fourth thoughts about the whole thing. He may be one of those that thinks 'he's better off without me', he could have a new family that aren't so thrilled about the long-lost son, he might feel guilty about not staying in touch and be worried he's going to get an earful for being a crap dad, he could simply be struggling with what to say. All kinds of things really. He's presumably known where your DH has been all his life and opted to stay away. I hope he has the decency to correct that now and not reject your husband twice .

Agree with Cogito.

My h found his birth mother and sisters 13 years ago, nearly. And for the same reason- birth of his own kids.

Practically dies whilst waiting for the call. It took two weeks. And turned out OK.

What will be, will be.

So stressful, though.

That's my worry Cogito

I'm starting to get annoyed for DH now, it's cruel to give the impression that you're going to ring and then just keep him hanging like this.

I would have rang him or texted his dad by now if it was me, but DH is being more sensible about it and is prepared to wait it out.

Do we just leave it now, or send a text or email? I mean ffs just grow a pair and ring man!!

Omg two weeks Fiventhree!! My stomach is going over every time I think about it and it's not even my dad! I think I may be completely grey by then..

I felt the same. It was a nightmare.

Then she wrote back via the intermediary saying it was too late for contact. Then she told her daughter and the daughter got in touch to say that they did want contact. Originally, it was a shock for her, and once she told her big secret to her other kids, she felt better about it and decided to meet.

We see them fairly frequently now, and it went great.

I hope you or he were well prepared eg the library has heaps of info and books on what might happen next, and it might not be pretty, as you know. If it is an adoption, you have to have counselling first, and that is a good thing, in my view.