Am I not allowed know why she is in hospital?

[Imsosorryalan]

Ok, I have posted about my sister before and how she doesnt like to tell me stuff as once I accidentally told my dad and she flipped. (they don't have a great rel.)
Fair enough, I apologised told dad to stop asking me for info about her as I wouldn't tell him. I told her all this, she forgave me, thankfully and all has been fine.
My mum calls me today to say she has gone to see my sis unexpectedly and is with her now... In hospital!!
She wouldn't tell me why or if she was ok but that sis would tell me in her own time.
I am really worried about her, surely this is taking the secrecy too far?? Shall I call mum again?

I remember you

I am glad your sister forgave you. However perhaps she is still in the "once bitten, twice shy" position and thinks if you know anything you will blab like you did before

However, your family is sounding more and more fucked-up, tbh

just leave 'em all to it (weren't you advised to do this on your last thread ?)

she will tell you if she wants to

Hmmm... I only tell my mum things I don't mind telling the world about as she is a blabbermouth, so this is probably the same thing. Once a blabbermouth always a blabbermouth in my experience. It is a big ask to expect her to trust you again.

I think your sister either doesn't trust you (possible) or is attention-seeking by making herself the centre of some big mystery drama where only the favoured few are given access to information and everyone else is kept guessing, chastised or forgiven as she wishes. My vote would be for the latter. In your position, I would think that if she doesn't want me to know she's in hospital, she can't complain if I don't show an interest, send flowers or otherwise. I'm sure, if she was deadly ill, your mum would have said.

Everything Corgito just said!

I remember you too.

Right, here's your big chance to prove yourself. Trust needs to be earned... Especially if it's a case of earning trust back.

Send a nice message via your mum, wishing her all the best and hope she'll be better soon. Say if there's anything you can do just let you know. Remark that as she knows, you are from now on not discussing anything to do with her with your dad, so please not to worry while she's poorly that anything about her whereabouts is going to get back to him. Don't even ask what's wrong.

Of course it's not good or nice for her to 'shut you out' - but also you can't expect the slate to magically become instantly clean again! Use this as an eg of how you can be a trusted, non-nosey, non-pressurising support for her and I'm sure things will turn out ok.

Thanks. AF yes, but I can't cut ties from what used to be a good rel. only up until recently. She's my only sister and I love her. I may just sit on my hands and wait a day or so to see if I get any calls.
She faints at the sight of blood and also thinks she is dying when she vomits so am hoping it's nothing too serious

who said "cut ties" ?

Just keep out of the drama. Like you said, stay out of it and see what happens.

She wouldn't even tell you if she was ok?

That is why I'm not very keen on secrecy or lying.

Why has your mum called in the first place?!

It seems more like a drama thing as Cogito said.

I may just sit on my hands and wait a day or so to see if I get any calls.

Why not just sit on your hands full stop? Do you not think she would have contacted you if she wanted contact from you?
It seems to me like you want to control things all the time.

If it's a trust thing, just send a get well card and your best wishes, but don't ask what is the matter - let her see that your good wishes are unconditional and aren't a barter for information.

If it's a drama thing, just send a card and best wishes, and don't ask any questions, thereby begging no response, but keeping the moral high ground by having done the sisterly thing and sent a card when she is ill.

I agree, send a card.

It is really harsh not telling you if she is ok! Do you think your mum is enjoying being party to this information?

I do not feel the need to control things, far from it. I am concerned about someone in my family. A simple "I'm ok" would have done. Anyway, it seems to me she is the one in control. So be it. I'm leaving her to it. Card's in the post
Thanks for the replies.

If it was life threatening, your mum would have told you.

Your mum sounds as though she is shit stirring a bit here. Why would your mum phone you just to tell you she is visiting your sister in hospital but can't tell you any details because it's all confidential and a big secret. That's the screwed up bit.
No you aren't "allowed" to know confidential medical info about your sister.
I'm not surprised you are pissed off at the way your mum and sister have played this though.
I'd leave them to it and maybe send a "get well soon" card to her house for her return if you feel magnanimous.

Your mum sounds as though she's enjoying bumping up the drama. What was the point of that phone call? I could understand if you'd happened to call her, but she called you!

My sister has called and yes she has had a pretty horrendous experience but she wanted to tell me herself. So yes, not sure why mum called me but anyway thanks again.

is your sis ok ?

Yes thanks AF, or at least, she will be. Dare not say anymore