they experience their victims' independence as a threat to themselves, since the victim is "supposed" to be their puppet
I agree 100% with this, HotDamn.
I have been much persuaded by later research suggesting that an abusive childhood - and, it seems, a heightened state of fear in utero - leads to an atrophied hippocampus and interferes with rational processing when emotions are triggered. Explained here and there's loads on the web now.
Since this would apply to my sibs and me, I've looked at my own emotional patterns over the years and projected 
them to other abusers in my life. When I felt threatened, I'd go into a kind of survival mode, which entailed evaluating what my aggressor wanted; why; what they'd settle for; how I could use their 'motive' to my advantage. This all happened in a flash, though I was aware of it on a near-conscious level. I wasn't able, however, to get out of survival mode. There seemed only one route available to me. Then, if I deemed it appropriate, I'd use verbal abuse or manipulation. It's very much as though all emotional interactions were, in fact, battles.
The only significant difference between me and "an abuser", I'd venture, is the degrees of sensitivity and aggression. I wouldn't feel threatened by somebody looking particularly nice one day, for instance, but both my boss and husband were noticeably more aggressive on days when they thought I looked nice. XH had a huge go at me about my charitable stuff (I did it, he didn't, he accused me of not doing it!) which, I imagine, shows he felt he should be charitable and was threatened by the fact that I was. By contrast, I never felt it necessary to attack him for being good at mechanics, although I'd like to be.
To me, this says we were all fucked up, but they were (are) pathological where I wasn't.
I've described this incredibly badly. Sorry!