Where should we live once it's over?

[glitch]

Well it has been coming for a while but I think myself and DH finally agreed that it is over yesterday. We are both terribly sad that we have failed to make it work. We want to make things as amicable as possible and neither one of us is in any rush to decide things.

I wondered if anyone had any advice about living arrangements. I'm a SAHM so I have no income to rent a house on my own currently. Is it possible to live longer term with someone you are no-longer in a relationship with? What options do I have? Is it fair to carry on with the current arrangements or am I being unfair on my D(ex to be)H.

I'm just after advice really. Thanks.

I'd talk to a solicitor if I were you. If your home is owned there are various options. Your DH has financial responsibilities to maintain you & the children post divorce. There is state help available through things like Tax Credits and Housing Benefit. The Turn2Us Benefits Calculator is worth a look. Personally, I wouldn't recommend trying to live with each other for very long, even if starts out amicable. Some people make it work but really it's not fair on either party to put life on hold longer than necessary. Good luck

Talk to CAB, they are fab - look at their website, go to your nearest office and talk to them. They will run through all your options with you. Benefits eligibility, financial and legal. Depending on savings/mortgage etc, if you have small children and no income you may be eligible for housing benefit, child tax credits and income support/job seekers allowance. If he is working he needs to pay you child maintenance too, see Child Maintenance Options website. By the way, you won't get any of this support if he lives with you. But also consider, it will be hard to stay in the same home and stay amicable. He may be the loveliest man ever (probably not if you are leaving him), but how will you feel when he stops coming home for dinner, goes out on dates, spends money on himself not the family. Or vice versa. Talk to a solicitor soon too, particularly if there are any family assets. Just become aware of your options.

Thank you for replying. Sounds like I should call the CAB.

My main concern is where we (myself and my DS) can live. The house we own has no equity in it and we don't have any savings but on the flip side , our debts are minimal too which helps.

Well no rush as I said. I'd be really interested to hear from anyone who has made it work, living in the same house after seperating. Myself and DH are so far apart I'd be really happy for him to go on dates and meet someone else, is that a bit odd?

I am in the same boat as you. Phone Gingerbread and they will give you
an exact calculation as to how much benefit you will recieve. You will be entitled to Housing Benefit, Child Tax Credit, Child Benefit etc. You can then find a flat for you and your child and start to move on.
I am currently in the process of trying to find the right flat and am living with partner who I have told I no longer want to be with. It's all very separate apart from when our DD is around. Some days it's ok, other days it's very awkward and we row.

I think long term it will be hard for you to live with your soon to be DP. It may be amicable now but as another poster said, once he (or you) start doing something that the other doesn't like, such as going out too often, or not doing your share of the childcare or washing up or whatever, could be something very minor, you'll soon start to get resentful.

Give Gingerbread a call and they'll be able to help. They are fantastic.
Good luck