No we are not soing anything about his reclusiveness (not sure either if that is the right word), and you are right, that has not been a problem up till now, and to be fair is just agravated by a medical condition that makes him very tired so that is why he has not been taking ds out. Still, it is something that annoys me and he knows it, and I know he is trying.
You are absolutely right about the being in the house thing, during my ml I went bonkers, we were both here, he was in the house all the time except three nights a week of work, I could not stand it! things are better in that front now that I am working again though.
About the scarring thing, I can see in his way that he is always on the deffensive, ready to defend himself. I have been very difficult to live with, have ptsd which has just finished treatment, and completely understand that I have been horrible for sometime, but now even when I am fine and in a good mood he is always ready to defend himself, and has lost all initiative, for example, he won't hug me without being asked really.
I don't know, I am really struggling. We come from very different families and I wonder if this is really playing a big part right now, in my house touching, hugging and kissing were always very important and part of everyday life, but I never heard my parents argue (which they obviously did, as everyone) but my dad rather than argue would go for a walk and come back an hour later calmed down. In his family touching is unheard of, let alone kissing or hugging, and his parents argued shouting, throwing stuff, etc (they divorced in the end). So we aproach things completely different, even if it is just in our subconcious.
I am going to check out that book!