I have name changed for this so please give me some honest but constructive advice.
DH and I have been married 20 plus years and have. 4 children , 2 older and 2 younger.
We have never really been happy. well I Haven't . despite telling him millions of times he always refuses to consider separation despite my pleading. I have begged him to talk about it. you will prob say he has every right to the house like me but I cannot leave with 4 children. he is not abusive or violent but he is not nice to me either He wants anything which provides him with an easy life. Is it so awful that I don't want to be married to him just because of the children . I'm so so unhappy and we resent each other now. I can't bare being near him and the children must pick up on this. There is no affetion between us but he thinks this is normal . his parents had separate bedrooms from their early thirties. we last had sex 2 years ago. When I mention this he says ok you want sex great so do I . if I had an affair he would still want to stay married . We met and married at 18 and are completely different people now in our 40s. I am so unhappy I come home and I drink all night and we now argue every moment in front of the children. I know this is so wrong and I should stop myself from being rude back but he just won't leave. he doesn't seem to care that I feel like dying. I hate so much seeing what we are doing to our children. I don't care about me but I want to move forward separately and it just will never ever happen. I have managed a fab job and brought up four beautiful children yet I can't manage to do anything about my complete lie of a life. I know it's getting awful because friends say how much weight I've lost and I can't concentrate at work now. I don't sleep and I only carry on for my lovely children. I don't have a friend I could tell all this too and my parents would run a mile.I have nowhere to go . he will never leave. I need the strength to chin up again and pretend for the sake of dc and this time I just can't x