Shall I tell this girl her boyfriend slept with someone else?

[MissCeliaFoote]

Hi everyone. I am friends with a girl at uni, well enough to say hello and have a chat if I see her or to have a laugh with on a night out as part of a group, but not like very close friends or anything.

She has a boyfriend who is my acquaintance, but not a good friend, and who is on a sports team with my boyfriend. Her and bf have been together 2 years, about the same as me and my bf. Word on the student grapevine is that he cheated on her last winter and she eventually forgave him. He also cheated on one of my other friends when they were going out back in first year; he has form.

Anyway MY boyfriend and another friend have told me that her boyfriend cheated on her AGAIN on a boys' night out last weekend, went back to a girl's room and slept with her. Because me and the girl aren't really close, I don't think my boyfriend expected me to say, 'WTF, that's awful, someone has to tell her.' I really think she deserves to know. I thought maybe I could send her a private message on Facebook or something. I just hate that it's being discussed by the boys in open forum and before long all the boys will know that he cheated on her again, while she's left in the dark. It's disgusting. She may have forgiven him for cheating once, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't want to know he's done it again, does it?

My boyfriend is trying to dissuade me from telling her because it's not 'our place to' but I think the actual reason is that he thinks if I tell the girl, it will fuck things up for him in his social circle because it might come out that I told the girl because he told me.

I just feel like, this poor girl is kind, lovely, she's got her whole life ahead of her, and she deserves to know if her boyfriend's cheating on her again and not even keeping it a secret from anyone else but her. I know she doesn't know. If it were me, I'd feel so fucking humiliated. We're all young, final-year students, no children or other complications involved. I feel I should definitely tell her; she temporarily broke up with him before when he cheated. Am I right/wrong? WWYD? I know if my boyfriend had cheated on me I would absolutely want to know...

Tell her. What is she gets an STD from him sleeping around?

If it was your bf and she knew, would you want her to tell you? And if so, how?

Cos that's what you base your decision on.

It's not always easy doing the right thing.

You might find that, if he's got form, she's not all tht surprised.

I would absolutely want to know, and would far rather hear it From someone I knew and liked than some random stranger or the appearance of an STD! I say tell her, but after finals!

When I was in my final year at uni a boyfriend of mine was known to be a liar and a thief by a number of friends. Yet no one told me. When I eventually found out the truth about him, months later, having had money taken myself, I just couldn't get my head around why no one told me. It troubled me for ages afterwards - years even. Not that my bf had turned out to be a liar, but that people who I had considered friends hadn't warned me. They obviously felt they were in an awkward position but you know what, I would have wanted to know. In your position, i would say something .

" how the hell would you feel if it was your poor bloody daughter being made a mug of?"

If it was my daughter I'd hope she'd had the common sense to kick the lad out the first time she caught him cheating... I'd put money on it that others have already told her he's up to his old tricks but she's opted to ignore it. Some girls will put up with anything.

Random point - this isn't a boys club thing, it's a cheating thing...me & my girl friends were known to have our moments in university I don't think it's gender specific, it's just bad behaviour. I wouldn't bother telling her though - she's already taken him back after cheating so I think she's probably now making a concerted effort to stay ignorant of what he gets up to.