I work in a field where overseas postings are the norm every few years. They're not technically compulsory but I would not be eligible for further promotion if I didn't take one at some point within the next four years.
My compromise option since exH and I split has been a plan to apply for Western European postings which I could travel to by Eurostar and spend half of the week there (with pre-school age DC) and half of the week back in the UK working from the London office so DC could spend time with ex. I've applied for one which I didn't get and am waiting for another to come up.
Ex has been very grumpy whenever I've tried to discuss this with him, acting as though it's something I've suddenly sprung on him rather than a natural progression in my career which he has always known about and a considerable compromise considering the amazing jobs on offer in the wider world. He's been abroad with me on a previous posting (pre-DC) and hated it so I don't think he's regretting or resenting the fact that he would no longer be included in the move. We've managed to agree basic principles for taking DC abroad but he won't talk about specifics.
This week I've seen an amazing opportunity coming up in a European country but not one on the Eurostar route. It's one of the only roles where I've looked down the specification and can tick every box. If I got it, it would mean me and DC living out there full time for several years. I would be willing to put ex up in a spare room if he flew out for weekends every few weeks but the cost of flights means that I couldn't realistically fly back and forward with DC every week. It would also coincidentally be close to MIL, FIL and other relatives who live overseas so would give the opportunity to see more of them too. ExH and I could feasibly meet at their homes.
DC staying in the UK with exH isn't an option as ex has problems with alcohol and money. I have broader questions over the kind of access he should have as DC get older but that's a subject for a whole other post.
I resent exH enough for his behaviour during our marriage but am managing to be amicable for DC. If I felt he was blocking my career too, that would be a whole additional source of resentment. At the same time, I don't want to deprive DC of a father.
Would I be unreasonable to apply for this job? Am I being unreasonable to even look at the compromise jobs I could take on the Eurostar routes?