My only sibling is 7 yrs younger than me; his wife is twelve yrs younger. I've tended to be the one who initiates contact, but over the last yr there has been v little contact. They did come for Xmas and my SIL was subdued for the 4 days. We pretty much did everything for them. TBH they only came because our mum didn't want to host Xmas, as she likes to come to us. So I of course suggested we had everyone. DH always invites parents too. We worked our socks off with no thanks.
He doesn't pick up if I call or respond to texts. (I contact about once a month). He is busy with a newish small business. I have 3 dc under 7. He has seen my 1 yr old once (aged 8months at xmas). They don't ask about the dcs any more. But they previously visited dc1 and 2 even in the maternity ward. And seemed to enjoy being the favourite uncle and auntie. I've just had a polite refusal of my suggested overnight visit. With a v reasonable excuse. I totally understand. But I feel confused and hurt by them ignoring my alternative suggestion that we meet for coffee in their local town one Sat, on our way passed. I don't know what I've done. He wouldnt tell me anyway. I've wondered whether their difficulties trying for a family might be part of this, as it's coincided with their withdrawal from us. Do you think this is likely?
I've wondered whether I should just leave them be. But our father lost touch with his sister at a similar age to us, and never found her again. I seem to always be expected to offer hospitality and attention on their terms - and I guess I'm frustrated and annoyed. Any advice?