Plenty of Fish guy - what happened here then? nutter?

[MouldyTurnip]

I got talking this guy. 6ft 5in bouncer/body builder.

He said he wanted to meet early on and mentioned a specific time and place he wanted to meet. Lets say 1pm in the Strand shopping centre (not really).

Anyway I had a plumbing emergency and had to cancel. He was fine about it and said we'd meet another time. A few days later he sent me a message asking if I still wanted to meet him, I said I did and he replied with "ok, 1pm in Strand ok?" ??

Anyway his obsession with this specific time and place set my spidey senses tingling and I started to ignore his messages. He then starts sending me stuff like "Have I offended you?" "are you ignoring me?"

I caved and replied that I had just been busy with exams. He replied with "thats ok, are you doing anything bank holiday monday? thinking we could meet at 1pm at the strand otherwise" ???????????!!!!!!!

I ignore that. I get a load more "have I offended you" messages which I ignore. I then happen to log in after a few drinks and replied saying "not offended, just been busy". So he sent me a message last night saying "good, because I really want to meet you :) :) xx" - within an hour of him sending this, his profile was deleted!!!

Does it sound like POF took him off or he took himself off? I'm wondering if I had a close call with a nutcase here.

I don't think it was that weird? Perhaps he thought it was a good time/place because you'd agreed to it before?

I often meet my friends at the same time and place if we're meeting in town or wherever. Because I know they can get there at that time and it's a good meeting place which is easy to get to for both of us!

6ft 5in bouncer/body builder

He was probably a 5ft 6in bullshitter....

I will be honest here.... "bouncer/bodybuilder" would ring alarm bells with me anyway - having known quite a few, and been out with a couple, they dont usually make the best type of person to have a good relationship with.

I don't think it's so odd to suggest meeting in the same place but if you did get a sense something wasn't right it is good not to go through with meeting.

In future though, if you're not interested or feel something's not right don't continue to engage with someone. Turn them down nicely if you want to or just go straight to blocking them so they can't contact you again.

I wouldn't waste one more second thinking about this tbh, something was weird, you won't really interested...uh that's it really

weren't

I'm with proudnscary.

The 1pm at the Strand thing wouldn't have bothered me. The constant 'have I offended you' messages when you didn't reply would have bugged me, but then a polite 'sorry I'm no longer interested in meeting you' instead of ignoring him would have been kinder on your part.

Anyway you're not interested in him, he's removed his profile, why would you give this another thought?

The only problem with body builder types is that they are utterly obsessed with their muscles and diet and gym and weights etc. They dont compromise on that regime and it becoms a pain in the arse to maintain a relationship around that. Otherwise most of them are pretty tame and harmless, based on my experience.

I don't think it was weird to want to meet at 1 Pm at the mall. He probably lives nearby. If he is a bouncer, he would probably work late at night, so 1 am would be morning for him. You could of asked him, it wouldn't have been an odd question.
He probably deleted his profile because he decided to "Forget this POF dating stuff females are weird!" :)

I'd be super tempted to check out that place at 1 PM sometimes to see if a tall man is there. :P

Daylight? Crowded public place? Sensible precautions Imo.

Why suggest a different time and place when you've already got on that, barring plumbing emergencies, is known to be convenient?

6'5" bouncer/bodybuilder? Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha

Personally I think it was you who was being odd, not him. Though in my clubbing days I knew a few people who went out with body builder types, and they're not generally good relationship material. But you were rude and inconsistent.

If there was no specific time and place, how were you going to meet him? And how was that him being obsessive?

Sorry- but you are the weird one in all of this!

You cancelled and he re-arranged. You thought it was odd that he wanted to meet at the originally agreed venue? You call re-arrnaging once in the same place and obsession???

You didn't confirm and then he asked if he ahd offended you?

Sorry but if I were him, I'd be really pissed off at your odd behaviour.

Maybe he has not disappeared but simply blocked you- so you can't see his profile- as he doesn't want to be in touch any more.

Had you thought of that?

'scuse typos- but I think he had 2nd thoughts after all the mixed messages from you and blocked you. I am sure he was keen to begin with but your behaviour made him think twice.

You are the strange one - he chose a time and place that was public and a good time for a quick drink and meet

You ignored him - that's rude. I hate it when I'm ignored, much prefer someone to say I'm not that interested or I'm really busy than be ignored

Agreed, you were in the wrong, OP. Obviously you don't meet someone if alarm bells are ringing, but all he was doing was trying to meet you in the same place that he'd agreed last time. If you're texting (and why not speak on the phone?) it's easier to just arrange to meet at a place and a time that suited you before. You were unfair to him. If you didn't want to see him, you should have let him down gently.

Yes, I don't see the significance of same time/place - and if it had bothered you you should ahve just suggested something different

Yeah, sorry, I don't think that suggesting the same time and place after an initial cancellation counts as an 'obsession'. He probably just figured that since that would have worked for you if the plumbing emergency hadn't happened, it would still be a good arrangement for the rescheduled date.

As for trying to find out if you were ignoring him, I think that's fairly reasonable since you spent half the time saying you wanted to meet and the other half, well, ignoring him. In his shoes I'd have given up earlier, but I don't think this poor guy sounds particularly nutty.