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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Under pressure

5 replies

Binxy · 05/05/2012 18:42

My husband and I are splitting up. He has been ea and is so unreasonable sometimes I just cant live with him any more. He blames me for breaking up the relationship. My parents are lively and as I'm not working and they can, they have offered to buy me a house (not in my name) so I can leave and have a nice home donor me and te children.

The area where my eldest goes to school us too expensive and unless I buy a tiny house I can't afford to be there so I looked nearby and have found a lovely house in a more rural area 10 mins drie away.

Now my husband and his parents are saying I am being selfish and unbelievably cruel to dcs to consider living there. That thwy wont be able to help me as much if j live there. I know my pil are not trying to be mean but I feel pressured into living where they live because it's right for them and what they think I should do.

My stbxh has just had a huge rant at me saying they all can't believe how selfish I am and that I am useless because I go running to my parents (who he refuses to speak to for no apparent reason) for help instead of standing on my ow two feet. What am I supposed to do?

OP posts:
Binxy · 05/05/2012 18:42

My parents are lively AND lovely I should say!

OP posts:
pippop1 · 05/05/2012 18:58

Ten mins drive is no distance whatsover. I would imagine that it's walkable in less than an hour. What a fuss about nothing. I would accept the kind offer from your parents.

Olympia2012 · 05/05/2012 18:59

Have you posted this before?

21YrOldMan · 05/05/2012 19:03

Who cares what your H says. You're splitting up with him for a reason, aren't you? Oh yeah, EA. Well, this just sounds like more of the same, only now he's got his family involved (I wonder where he gets it from?!)

Assuming you won't uproot you DC for moving, I'm really struggling to see why it's selfish. Sounds more like you're not bowing down to his wish. Tell him that you'd love to live .... and if they'll shell out the £...... required for you to afford it, no strings attached, you will. Otherwise they can shut up.

And don't forget that if your H wasn't EA then you wouldn't be ditching him.

tribpot · 05/05/2012 19:05

I have to agree, it sounds like a fuss about nothing. Presumably your dc will be able to stay at their school, and if your PIL can't be arsed to help out because of a 10 min drive they're not very interested in helping out at all.

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