worried he is seeing escorts/posting on craigslist

[monkeymajik]

i was using my husbands ipad the other day and when i pressed e for ebay on the address bar, lots of his search history came up, which, to cut a long story short, led to me discovering that he has been looking at escort pages, specific girls on those pages, looking on google for escorts in our area, and other quite specific stuff in london, where he works, like massage parlours, nude massage, brothels, and it also shows that he has looked at the price list for one particular massage place. he also ercently had to go to heathrow, and his history shows that he has looked at escorts in that area; he also clicked and looked at 2 girls in this area.

He also must have an account with craigslist and put in particular searches because looking at the thread on the craigslist, all the stuff that comes up is specific to age, acitivy (some massage/quick sex availble and blow job available etc..the county we live in, and in london; the things he has clicked on relate to our town or reasonably close by. some of them, that have a link to more info on a massage, he has also clicked on.

I am not against pornography per se and we have in the past used this as part of our sex lives - but this to me doesn't seem like pornography - more like a search for a service, which is what makes me feel really worried. it could be just fantasy and titilation and curiosity that leads him to look at these things, but i felt very uneasy, because we have in the past shared pornograph, but he obviously isn't sharing this with me...so...

i couldn't believe i did this, but i felt that i needed to check his phone calling history; again, to cut a long story short, i discovered, that one of the numbers was for a massage; looking at their website, i think its very clear what this kind of massage is offering; it says in the ad that they do in calls only, which, i now know, means that the client goes to them; they don't do visits...you don't usually get this information if its a legit massage service?!! he had rung this number on three occasions. I rang the number and a man answered and when i said i was ringing about a massage and he put the phone down... not in disgust or anything...maybe he thought I was the police or something?1!
:-) The day my husband rang the number coincided with a time that i was away for the weekend. Also, some of the mobile numbers listed in his history when you ring them, just ring and then go in to voice mail (the generic one), or are not recognised???? what is that about?? it just seems odd that so many of the mobile numbers i rang did this??? is this an escort thing???!! He also has some calls in his history just saying "private call"... i am very naive, but i was wondering if when you dial an escort agency, the phone numbers can register on your phone as private???

up to this point, i have always trusted my husband completely and have always considered that i am one of the lucky ones who has a faithful husband... but now i think i might be wrong! i feel so sick with worry and i don't know waht to do... advice please?!!

The fact that he has done this before (albeit while single) is a huge red flag - there is a saying once a punter....

With men who pay for sex, they have the view that women's bodies are there to be bought/used. The temptation must be so much stronger for your H given his travelling/work lifestyle and how easy it is to access prostitutes undetected.

You must be really devastated

Poor you monkey

This is a pile of evidence, and that fact that you know he has used prostitutes in the past seals it.

For me, even searching a massage site in the local area would be a dealbreaker, I absolutely can never ever be with a man who pays for sex.

There's too much evidence and the phone calls and the fact you were away, quite a secret life he has going on there. By the way, my husband works away and I would not see that as a reason to engage in this type of behaviour, my guess is that he does this in the local area too, it's his hobby when you are not around.

I think you sound very sensible, better to find this now, I know what I would do, but it's your call. You need to stop having sex with him and get a test though, for definite. How awful for you.

thank you so much everyone - you have been so kind :-) and given what seems to be some really sound advice. std test booked, next step to visit the solicotors so i can be sure of my rights etc... then to have the talk i suppose! i might get a bloke friend to ring the massage number and ask about booking a massage just to see what the woman says... just so i can kind of seal the deal in mind as it were that it is really what it appears to be

do you think that sounds like a good idea?

I think you've had a really lucky escape, finding this before you adopt. Can you imagine the horror of finding out when you've just adopted a child?

imperialblether yes, thank GOD!

Yes i think its a good idea.