i am so boooored with my oh! advice needed!

[claireyy]

I just need a bit of a rant really as yet again i am annoyed with my lazy partner!
He is so lazy and leaves me to do everything woth our lo, and i am sick of it
it takes at least an hour of me asking just for him. To get our son a drink!
he just ignores me all the time it takes me saying anything at least 5 times before he answers
he dissapears to the pub at least 3 nights a week and ignores my phone calls then complains im such a nag for being annoyed, even if hes been to the pub with other women. He treats me like a maid, critisizes everything i do, says i modicodle our son even if its just a hug when he falls over, he swears, drinks, smokes in front of lo and says im over the top about everything to do with lo if i so much as whisper a word of being annoyed. He doesnt care about me whenever i try and say anything like ive got a headache can i have a lie down he will launch into a rant about how hard hes life if and get lo to jump all over me till i get up. Im sorry if this doesnt make any sense but i had to write it down somewhere before i expolde!!!!!!

advice ?

if you would really tolerate this level of disrespect, and this isn't a windup, I advise you to dump his sorry arse pronto

you would be much better off without this nobber

No this isnt a wind up, i just needed a rant as im so annoyed with him. Im just sick of him acting like whatever i say doesnt matter. I really care about my lo, and i know he does to, it just all depends on hes mood. He has to be ina good mood for him to want anything to do with us. On hes day off from work (he get 2 off) he will find any excuse not to have anything to do with us. He doesnt give a crap about me, i have to do everything for lo, and hes only happy if i let him have hes own way, which is to have hes dinner cooked, clothes washed, our lo taken care of and i dont ever ever moan about anything ever!

And you stay with him why?

ClaireYy, what do you get out of this relationship? Money? Love? Nothing?

If nothing then dump him and move on honey, life is too short to waste your time on this loser....,

Tbh most of the time i dont know why i stay with him. It wasnt alway like this, he used to b so nice and our relationship was perfect. But since having our lo, hes got more and more distant and i considered it normal. I kept it all to myself until one day i was so annoyed i spoke to my mum about it and she said she would never put up with this. I think ive just become so used to it i dnt c anyway out, i want our relationship back how it was, i dont want to finish with him coz i still love him so much, but i dnt want it how it is, i know that might seem silly but i just dont feel like i can let go

then you will stay frustrated and unhappy

your choice

Tell him to go. He might man up, but not while he's there. Your love is misplaced, it is not returned.

If you are so unhappy, you need to make changes.
You have spoken to him, he isn't listening.
He is disrespectful, thoughtless, rude and selfish.

How long are you going to accept this?
Do your want your DS to grow up thinking this is how a man treats a woman he loves, the mother of his child?

This type all start out nice. That's how they lure you in and get you to love them. Once on the hook, they have a go at some bad behaviour... see if you tolerate it.... stretch a few boundaries. If you don't put your foot down at that stage they have a go at ramping it up... see if they can get away with a bit more. Eventually, they are behaving truly appallingly and, because it's happened gradually, you're conditioned to think it's 'normal'.

You don't have to put up with this. It's no use hoping things will go back to how they used to be when that person has deliberately engineered things so that they have to do nothing of the kind. He's got you right where he wants you and you choose to stay there out of some misguided idea of 'love'. It's not love when the only way you can keep the other person happy is to obey them.... that's called 'trapped'.

The usual phrase for what's happening to you OP is emotional abuse or psychological bullying. Refuse to be a victim. Stand up for yourself and your child. Get him out before you lose yourself completely.

You can't change him. He doesn't love or respect you and every time you let him walk all over you, you give him licence to keep doing it.

You and your kids deserve better. You can leave and give yourselves the chance of happiness or you can stay and let him keep dragging you deeper.

Get as much support around you as possible, make plans and get out. This will only get worse if you don't.

But what do you love exactly?

if it's a man who doesn't exist any more, then you're being a fool.

And... 'I know he cares for lo too' - well, it doesn't actually sound like he does. Not at all. Don't assume that he does, will you? I think it's common for people to like to think that 'deep down' he cares like a parent should... but all I see from your posts is you and your son being leeched on by a nasty, selfish, me-first individual. If that's the case, you would be so so much better off on your own, you really would. And so would your son.

Have a really GOOD think about what everyday life would be like without him.

Have a really GOOD think about what you think would happen if you really needed him one day, to supprot you, to come through for you. Do you think he'd be there for you?

You cannot be serious OP