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Original poster

Soon to be a Lone Parent - & Terrified!

8 replies

weesagirl · 13/02/2006 20:34

My fiancee & I have a daughter of 11 months. 6 weeks before the wedding me produces a prenuptual agreement - out of the blue. Let me explain - he is a wealthy man, but that's not why I'm with him.
The prenup is offensive. It basically says that if the marriage didn't work out he would make it so financially hard for me that I wouldn't leave. I can't sign this. It shows that he truly does not care about me and my welfare, and worse thatn that about the welfare of our daughter.
Soooooo, I am facing being a single parent. I am terrified. How will I cope? I don't really have any skills to get a decent paying job. I wanted to only work part time as I want to be there for my daughter when she finishes school.
I feel so alone.

OP posts:
bramblina · 13/02/2006 20:49

I don't know what to say but want to say something so you know you're not talking to the wall. Don't worry for now, see what happens...

MeerkatsUnite · 13/02/2006 21:03

Are you in the UK?. I ask this because as I understand it pre-nuptual agreements are not legally binding in this country.

I would seek legal advice asap re your own position asap.

He would still have to pay maintenance for his daughter.

barmybird · 13/02/2006 21:30

Don't know what to say except that I am thinking of you. Its a terrible situation that you are in.

I've learned from experience that eventually you have to follow your own inner instinct and I hope this will guide you.

Is it worth trying to talk to him about this so he understands your point of view?

barmybird · 13/02/2006 21:30

Don't know what to say except that I am thinking of you. Its a terrible situation that you are in.

I've learned from experience that eventually you have to follow your own inner instinct and I hope this will guide you.

Is it worth trying to talk to him about this so he understands your point of view?

rickman · 13/02/2006 23:47

Message withdrawn

Original poster
weesagirl · 14/02/2006 09:15

He just has a totally screwed up view of money. He'll spend £1000 on a shower door & £5000 on lights and then do this to us.
We live in jersey which is kind of like the UK but not quite the same. We don't have the CSA, I'm not entitled to 15% of his wages (which would be very nice thankyou!!!) and I have to take him to teh royal court to get anything out of him (with lawyers at £400 an hour!). I'll do what I have to do for my daughter. It's hard as I still love him, even though I have zero respect for him right now, and we have a child together. If he would be reasonable I think I'd still marry him. What I think it will come to is we'll get right up to the wedding (it's in 3 1/2 weeks!) the document won't be signed cos i've refused to, and he'll cancel the wedding. Then I walk. I feel like my life is on limbo until then. A horrible feeling.

OP posts:
Original poster
weesagirl · 14/02/2006 09:44

Barmybird -

There's not a lot of point talking to him as he has convinced himself that he is totally reasonable and generous. I think it's maybe a control thing. I am a strong person (or at least I used to be I don't feel at all that way at the moment!) and he can't control me mentally or emotionally and so I think maybe he thinks he can control me financially.

OP posts:
Mascaraohara · 14/02/2006 09:48

Go and see a solicitor!

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