regretting divorce

[reluctantmpvdriver]

Has anyone out there ever regretted getting a divorce? Struggling with decision to divorce and wanted to share others' experiences.

In real life I've met quite a few middle-aged and elderly people who have told me that they regretted not splitting up with their spouse earlier or at all. No one has ever told me that they regretted getting divorced.

Changing, I'm the same, I've spoken to so many older, mostly women in the last year that have said they wish they had been brave enough to do the same but now feel to old to make the move

a couple who got divorced, the guy got married to someone else, the marriage lasted a couple of weeks and he went back to his exW, they are now remarried and living happily ever after

Paul Young did this.

One often reads statistics about people saying they regret divorce but I've yet to meet someone who says it. It's hell, utter hell but then so is a bad marriage. Are you wrestling with whether your marriage is bad enough to leave?

I have read that up to 60% of men regret divorce, but I don't know how biased that was.

It could be 'I never listened to a word she said, just thought she was nagging, now maybe I should have listened'.

Will Smith apparently said he could have saved his first marriage had he been more aware and put more effort in.

I think many men hear the words but don't actually listen to what the woman is saying when in fact as you say it's there right in front of them,

Oh, yes. They don't listen because they think they will get away with it as before.

I'm sure ex regrets putting himself in the position I told him would be a deal breaker (except he didn't do it and it was my fault).

I don't regret at all carrying through with it.

Thanks for your posts all - I am really trying to get rid of all the excuses that I have hanging back in my head not to get divorced in a situation where I know that I really must - it is helpful to hear your experiences

I 'regret' my divorce - and we're talking 20 years after it happened. I regret it but I had no choice. If I had had a choice then I would have gone back but I really had no choice (abusive marriage). It is just sad that it had to happen, that's all. But it did have to happen.

I have some friends who are in a fiery marriage (no kids) and who take 6 months off from one another when things get too heated - they live in france and he comes to blighty.

have you been to relationship counselling? (I'm amazed no-one has mentioned it before now tbh). relationship counselling (eg Relate) is not just for patching things up but also negotiating a split - we don't come armed with how to do this, how to make this huge decision, with all the lost hopes and grief and disappointment etc. You are very much in two minds and, as this is a huge decision to make if things aren't cut and dried, then you do need professional support to work your way through it. You can go together or alone.

You could also try separation for eg a year while you sort your head out.

Yes.

My first marriage seemed so shit at the time. Left him when met someone else, who is now my second dh.

Grass wasn't any greener.

Does your husband want a divorce?
Has something happened recently to make you think this way
Or has it been coming for a while