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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've been so stupid!

17 replies

DozyDuck · 30/04/2012 13:14

Hi I have name changed for this due to ex knowing my regular name but I have had fantastic advice from some of you. I'll try to be vague but if you recognise me please don't out me.

I'm not sure where to post this but the pregnancy topics are full of people ttc and I feel guilty :(

Ok so a few weeks ago I gave horrible ex another chance. I don't know why, I think I was missing the way he was with my son etc but it happened. It lasted a week and he was back to being horrible again, this time telling me he slept with my mum and my sister (he is 27 not 14, honest) anyway during this week there was an occasion when he came round to 'talk' I drunk the wine a bit faster than I usually would and, I wasn't my usual careful self. (he would love a child and I really don't want any more due to my sons disabilities so was always the careful one in the 2 years we were together)

Anyway I didn't think anything of it at all until Saturday morning when I went out shopping and thought 'oh I'll need lady stuff soon' did quick sums in my head and thought I was 5 days late so panicked and picked up tests. When I got home I worked out that I was actually 8 days late then making me 10 days late now. I am usually very very regular, however, both tests were negative.

There are no other symptoms I don't think other than a late period. But i don't know what to think. Can I be definitely in the clear with 2 negative results? (one at 8 days late one at 9 both with first morning urine) should I wait and take another at the weekend? There's no signs that my period is coming at all I am usually very crampy :(.

I know it sounds so horrible but I just don't want to have to talk to the man ever ever again. It feels like too much of a coincidence.

OP posts:
TooEasilyTempted · 30/04/2012 13:27

Can I be definitely in the clear with 2 negative results?

Unprotected sex and a late period - no you're not definitely in the clear but try not to worry, wait and take another in a few days.

In the meantime go and put on your very best white knickers/trousers because nothing is more guaranteed to bring your period on Grin

Proudnscary · 30/04/2012 13:28

I hate to be the bringer of doom but yes it is absolutely possible to have several negative results and still be pregnant. I know many women who have had that experience.

You took a really silly risk, but you know that, so there is no point going over that.

What will you do if you are pregnant? How much real life support do you have, you need someone to confide in and hold your hand. But of course keep posting here. I hope you are ok.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 30/04/2012 13:36

Stress can also play havoc with your cycle. Sounds like you could use some time to relax. Easier said than done I know but try to calm down a bit make sure you are looking after yourself and test again on a few says if still nothing. Worrying is not gonna change the result you either are or aren't either way you will soon find out. Please just try to stop stressing cos if you aren't pregnant then a missed period could be a sign your over doing things and need to slow down. Have a Brew and Biscuit a hot bath and take some time for yourself x :)

DozyDuck · 30/04/2012 14:05

Thanks everyone slowing down is easier said than done with a little boy who doesn't sleep but also doesn't ever get tired Grin if I'm pregnant I really don't know what I'll do. Terminations just aren't an option for me (I'm completely pro choice but I just couldn't) I do have a really good RL friend but she's going through a lot herself at the moment and I don't want to worry her.

Does anyone know the best test to buy? I just got the cheap tesco ones.

I know I've been stupid I deserve a flaming for it, but trust me it won't ever happen ever again!

I'm just panicking and I know there's no point. But I can't seem to help it.

OP posts:
Stepmum395 · 30/04/2012 14:13

Talk to your RL friend. She might actually appreciate the distraction from what she's got going on. I know I would. And I'd feel awful if one of my close friends didn't tell me something cos they thought I was too preoccupied to listen. You'll feel much better for sharing.

Stepmum395 · 30/04/2012 14:14

Also agree with the 'put on your best white pants' advice Grin

DozyDuck · 30/04/2012 14:18

I agree with the best white pants thing normally but I went out at the weekend and didn't pack anything and was convinced I'd be caught out then of anything in my best little black number Grin that's what normally happens.

I'll wait till this weekend then test again and if still nothing I'll give her a ring. Smile

OP posts:
Mrsmuppethead · 30/04/2012 14:19

I would be inclined to try a more 'expensive' sensitive brand..but even a cheap Tescos should have picked up something after a week with first morning urine, so try not to panic. Don't worry..we are all stupid sometimes and usually the Goddess of stupid people will let you get away with it. Let us know x

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 30/04/2012 14:23

Fingers crossed it's just stress making you late - but you know what, if it's not and you are pregnant ... it could be a real joy :) Once the baby is here you wont be able to imagine life without it and your child will have a sibling and you already know what a complete wanker you are dealing with. 2 kids, one father - better than two crap ones to juggle - silver linings, look for the silver linings!!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 30/04/2012 14:26

Awww Chipping, lovely post and just what I was going to say myself!

Good luck though OP - I still hope it's a BFN (Big Fat Negative)

DozyDuck · 30/04/2012 18:08

Nope it would be 2 crap ones :( my son is almost 6. The first one made it till my son was 3 months old then buggered off. But you're right, a baby isn't a problem at all. I don't want another child for purely selfish reasons. I wanted to concentrate on my sons development and give him 100% of my time in hopes that he could have some sort of independent life one day. But I love kids they're a joy Smile it's the man I'd be stuck with that's turning my stomach Sad

OP posts:
nolongeramug · 30/04/2012 22:40

Did you do the tests first thing in the morning? The hormone needed to show a positive is strongest in your first pee of the day. Doesn't matter what brand though. Good luck, hope you get the result you want

DozyDuck · 01/05/2012 12:05

Took another today and still negative. My stomachs has blown up like a balloon I think I might be a bit poorly not pregnant :-/ it's probably the stress Smile

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 01/05/2012 19:12

Good news Smile it's all fine now.

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 01/05/2012 19:13

Thanks so much everyobe

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 01/05/2012 19:16

Glad your ok hon. Let this be a lesson in giving yourself a break sometimes. Please take time to rest and take care of you!!! :)

lisad123 · 01/05/2012 19:19

Glad to hear that. Now make sure you delete ex out of your life.

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