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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I know if he is the one?

6 replies

YoungOne13 · 29/04/2012 22:01

so. I've been seeing this guy for almost a year now and he is amazing! I've never been more happy. Before I met him I was in a really manipulative relationship with someone who hit me, cheated and completely took advantage. How do I know if my boyfriend is the one? It all feels too good to be true!? (new to forum)

OP posts:
Adversecamber · 29/04/2012 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoungOne13 · 29/04/2012 22:34

I guess I'm a little scared now because of everything. I find myself too happy! If that's possible? And feel like I'm waiting for it all to come crashing down.

OP posts:
BunnyLane · 29/04/2012 23:13

I don't think here's such thing as 'the one' but if he makes you happy and you make him happy that's all you'll ever need.

And the tough times will come no matter what but if even then you are still happy and you think that it's all worth it at the end that's how you'll know...

I think...

Berts · 30/04/2012 10:54

When he's the right one, it's easy. You don't have to play any games, second-guess yourself or ever walk on eggshells.

You can have open and honest discussions about what you want out of life (marriage, kids, etc).

He thinks you're beautiful all the time and never, ever qualifies it by hinting that you'll look even better once you hit the gym.

He is respectful towards your family and friends and makes an effort with them. He supports you spending time with them and having your own life.

He's respectful towards his own family, even if they don't always get on.

He is genuinely happy for you when you have a success in anything. He thinks you're brill at your job and dead clever, and never undermines you.

He might not share the same taste in music, TV, films, etc, but he doesn't sneer at what you like.

There's a few pointers I wish I'd had years ago!

StrandedBear · 30/04/2012 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 30/04/2012 11:09

Rather than waiting for it to come crashing down why not test it out? In a lot of relationships early days, everyone gets on fantastically well because they're on best behaviour and trying to impress. Sadly, people who have been in abusive relationships in the past will already have a tendency to avoid confrontation and keep the peace. Equally, abusers often start out relationships being ultra lovely until they've got you hooked (and I suspect this is what you're worried about). So you can end up with a rather artificial situation. The 'test' therefore is to disagree with him about something, create a confrontation, be a little challenging and see what happens. You'll know from past experience if you've picked the wrong one.

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