Internet dating

[bucketbetty]

I was going to join the other dating thread but it's pretty full and feels too well established to notice me. I've been on a couple of dating sites for 4 weeks now. Not one single date and experiences to date have been what feels like very strange behaviour. I've had some interest (usually from deeply unattractive men). Those I have corresponded with have all disappeared. So, they email me, say nice things, I respond (reasonably generic response, e.g what I do for a job, where I live etc) then they just disappear. I had a lovely email from a soldier in Afghanistan, I had to chance to reply twice then I noticed his profile had been deleted. Is this not strange? A girl could get really get a complex. Would this be normal and if so, why? I don't get it. One minute interested and literally the next not. I'm about ready to give up.

I've just read a book by a psychologist who has done research on dating, particularly internet dating. He found that it's a really bad way to find a long term partner. Yes, there are always exceptions but most people spend hours and hours on dating sites and emailing potential dates then find there's a very low success rate when they actually meet people. So you aren't unusual in getting disheartened.

I know it's a terrible cliche but do you have hobbies and activities you enjoy? I met DW through a sporting group I was part of. We already had a joint interest so were able to use that as a starting point for getting to know each other.

The profile of the 'soldier in Afghanistan' was most probably deleted because it was part of a well-known scam to get guillible women who are looking for lurrve to part with their money.

Dating sites can be likened akin swimming with sharks and you're best advised to dive into the other long established thread where I'm sure you'll be given a warm welcome - and sound advice on how to navigate your way through uncharted seas

I think perhaps you are on a rubbish site? I met my DH on my first date through a site! Your experiences sound aweful - I am sure it isn't you! Some sites appear to attract more weirdos than others! Change sites and good luck!

Yes its a minefield out there in the internet dating world!
I have never come across so many weird phychos in my life though sometimes you meet the odd nice person.
I went on a date with a guy who I got on with great online and when we met up it was good too until I texted him a couple of times the next day to make sure he had gotten home alright ( he had stayed himself overnight at a hotel). The reply I got was "you know we only went on a date you don't own ME"! Needless to say I told him I didn't want to see him again (hmm)
Another man was pissed off with me and told me that I shouldn't put a photo online if I looked like that (angry)
So I really think you need a heart like a lion to go online dating sites or have a very thick skin. I have found its not for me and I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than use one again.....

Betty you are more than welcome to join the dating thread and I promise you, you will not go unnoticed You will gain from our many months of experience and research into the minefield that is Internet Dating and all the dross it brings with it

And it's not you!

I met my husband on match. We emailed back and forth very casually for a few weeks then met - by that time it ust felt like two old chums going for a pint.
We both joined just for some fun and because we are pretty proactive people, both recently single and in a new town. You just have to use common sense and treat it as a larf.
I hit the jackpot, but had been on six or seven other dates before then - they were all fun and I kept in touch with a few of them. If you approach and see it for what it is - just a way of putting people together.

Bucketbetty, yes its pretty rum out there on dating sites.

I also think it depends on your age and looks. If you are youngish you will have much more choice, and more likely to meet a sane and attractive guy!

My experience, at my age (late 40s) was that the choice was pretty grim, and I was not contacted much. I did meet up with a few, but not great.

So.... if you are in a social position to meet men other ways, worth doing that. But for some of us, have less options there, childcare, etc.