At what point do you disclose your income?

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This thought popped into my head when the postman kindly (not) delivered my bank statement yesterday!

Dp and I haven't been together long, just since January, but our relationship is moving at a fast pace. Neither of us have ever mentioned our salaries before and I couldn't care less what he earned really because we often take turns to buy stuff.

Until now I've been out of the dating game for years so I just wondered really!

Interesting one. I don't have an answer, but having had an STBX who compulsively spent far far more than he earned and has debt problems, I have to admit I would not want to commit to someone with that attitude to money again. Quite how you would do that is another question. I guess I would look at the job a DP had, instead of the salary and at lifestyle instead of bank statements (as from experience people can lie anyway)- so does he splash out and treat himself often (not a good thing) or out money away for a rainy day. Does he use a debit card or credit card when buying something (debit good, credit bad). Actually thinking about it now, I think this will be a challenge for me when the time comes.

I think in your shoes, just ask as part of a conversation, if you are interested. Why would he hide it, unless he thinks you are a higher wage earner than him. But he could earn £20 k a year and look after his money, or £80 k a year and spend double that on credit. I know which I would prefer to commit to.

I think when/if you move in together. Because then you have joint responsibilities so you have to talk finances and agree what's a fair contribution (if you're not doing the far simpler One Pot thing ) I think it's more fair to work on percentages of income, if you aren't pooling your monies, otherwise you can end up with the lower earning partner paying everything they have and the higher earner paying practically nothing. That's like someone earning £10,000 per annum and someone earning £100,000 per annum both paying £9,000 per annum tax! It would be so unfair, wouldn't it?

It's not what I did. I just met him, moved him in and we just had our money.

It was much simpler

I understand this is probably highly unusual but my OH and I have no idea how much each other earns. 12 years ago (when we moved in together) I looked at all the house hold bills and split them in half ...we still stick to these now.

Money has never been an issue in our relationship and it works for us.

I've been married 10 years and don't know how much dh earns. I've never told him what I earn but I guess seeing as its public sector he could easily look it up.

My ex massively lied about his income. Meaning we committed to a monthly rent we could actually ill afford and I was left paying the excess each month. He was a royal tight arse who wouldn't pay for anything, we literally never went out. Twat.
So I suppose that's what's made me think about finances with current dp. But being that I've been to his office, know exactly what he does for a living, he has a good attitude to spend/save and a debit card only I'm not gonna let it bother me

When it starts to affect you, such as moving in together or making any kind of financial commitment.

I agree that it should be when you move in together. That's the time to get the money out on the proverbial table and work out a fair way to divide joint expenses. The only other time you need to know the other person's finances in a relationship is if they specifically ask you to do something like take out a loan on their behalf or lend them large amounts of money. I've seen quite a few girlfriends sold down the river by debt-ridden boyfriends, happy to take their money and their credit rating but not happy to reveal their financial situation.

Daffy, I treat myself and splash out sometimes, and shock horror, use a credit card!

I pay my credit card off in full every month; I use it to accumulate air miles, plus most credit cards provide cover that debit cards don't if something goes wrong.

Splashing out / using a credit card do not necessary indicate a reckless spendthrift.