hello there, I am so sorry you have been brought so low by the actions of a man
I have read your other thread, and it is quite clear that what you have been told re. there being someone else is true
his withdrawal of intimacy and defensiveness when challenged is complete
he moved out to a place connected to his place of work, and he is seeing someone from work ? No coincidence
This man is being cruel in the extreme
you have to find some anger and strength from somewhere
listen to teaandcake, and all the others trying to make you see the truth here
this man checked out of your relationship a long time ago, and the best thing you could now is simply withdraw your love and trust with your dignity intact
it is within your power to do that, your love and trust was yours to give and you can take it back any time you like
do it now, and never give this man the opportunity to hurt you so much again
tell him you want a month of no contact whatsoever while you regroup, with RL help (Samaritans, family, friends, counselling, whatever works for you)
then when you are feeling stronger (and have your head on the right way round) you can tell him how things are going to be
he makes no decisions now, his are made...the tune is yours
please stop threatening him with stopping contact with the dc altogether though, at some point he can force it. So although you understandably want to hurt him as much as he has hurt you, it will bite you back in the end
again, I'm so sorry, but his script is clear to outsiders and you do now need to take a step bac and stop being in the position of reactor and start being proactive