Rejection

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

Can I please offload here as I have exhausted RL and don't want to become a tedious bore to them!

A couple of days ago I finished a relationship,it was only 8 months, but I fell in love. Won't bore you with details. I have absolutely made the right decision so that's not the problem. The issue is, although I ended the relationship (had to not wanted to) I feel so lonely and isolated, probably because he didn't put up a fight, and think I must feel rejected. The feeling is a physical sickness and complete desolation. Please assure me this is normal....I'm so upset

I suppose you are in a kind of "shock" situation, even though you were the dumpee rather than the dumped. But yes, it's normal. Shouldn't last too long.

Do you have anything nice to look forward too? A holiday, retail therapy, party, haircut etc? Plan something nice if you have none of these and it will help.

I think he's the one that should feel rejected to be honest.

For good people it's just as hard ending a relationship as being on the receiving end, particularly if you had to and not really wanted.

So, big hug.

You will feel better soon. :)

Heave a sigh of relief that he didn't put up a fight and know that any loss is his, honey.

And, as pippop has suggested, give yourself a treat to look forward to - can you get away for a few days? Maybe a long weekend in Barcelona or Seville or anywhere the sun's shining?

pippop you're right, I am in shock..

Thanks for your replies, you've made me feel better already :)..and yes, I have things to look forward to, although nothing really appeals at the moment. I know it won't last too long though...

xx

I really feel for you. I ended a 3 year relationship last October and knew it was the right thing to do, even though we still loved each other. I've been fine since then, but found out this week he is seeing someone else. I am devastated!! Feel physically sick and panicky and almost rang him to make him come back and love me again!! (I didn't of course)

I hope this feeling doesn't last long for either of us, because I am really struggling.

will help xx

Hippy....you poor poor thing, I feel like a fraud!

(((big big hugs))) xx

You are Chteau haut brion pessac lognan, and he is a larger drinker, he has neither the taste nor the education to appreciate the finer things in life,completely wasted on him.

well done you for saving yourself for a connoisseur who will savour and cherish the wonders of you.

Don't feel like a fraud! It's a shitty feeling for you too! The worst of it is that I actually know if we got back together I wouldn't want it, I know that I ended it, and I know I could have got him back over the last few months, so I obviously know I don't REALLY want him.

That's why this feels so bad - because I don't know why I feel so crap!! Honestly I've never felt like this before! Even when my marriage ended. It's like a massive loss, when the loss was already lost in October iygwim? I've been absolutely fine, never doubted my decision. Now it feels like the end of the world.

I'm actually annoying myself!

Aww Hippy, that's exactly it..a loss, a bereavement. I don't like feeling like this at all, makes it feel better to share it though...so thank you ((())))

And quoteunquote love the analogy :)

any change causes stress/distress even if it's ultimately change for the better. Your mental / psychological resources are being used up to adjust to a big shift in your life.

it's a sort of transitional period, so you feel all at sea with a big gap in your life, just give it a bit of time and you'll be mended.

I always find it useful to try and distract myself..get absorbed in something, exercise is good! :)

Emotional turmoil is excellent for weight loss though!!! WillIEver, you WILL be a size 10!! I've completely lost my appetite and keep forgetting to eat!

There's always an upside!! :o

to you. Keep telling us on here how much better you feel every day x

loves I never thought of that, but it makes perfect sense:)

hippy that made me chuckle :) best get online shopping...now there's a distraction

And yes..I will be on here every hour day

to you all for brightening my day/evening x

It's hard when a relationship ends, you are just adjusting. Keep everyday busy and fill your mind with other things.it does get better, even ib the worst possible relationship its hard to leave and get over. You will heal. Remember live laugh learn love.

How are you today WillIEver? Hope you are feeling a bit more positive xx

Hi Hippy...
Feel a bit better thanks...fine if I don't think about it,but when I do I feel like crap
again...but still stand by my decision...how bout you?

Same as you really. I keep swinging between knowing I've done exactly the right thing, and that it would all have gone wrong if we'd got back together, and thinking I've made the most massive mistake of my life!!

I suppose only time will tell. Glad you are feeling a bit better x

Girls don't mean to butt in, but can I just say, leaving my husband last November was extremely difficult despite the circumstances. I was still in love with him, but knew I couldn't carry on like that. I now am 6 months down the line. Life is good, I have healed and I am now back on my feet. My confidence has returned and I can look to the future.

It does hurt, handing my divorce petition on hurt too, it felt like 7 years of ny life being discarded. I am so glad I was strong enough to though. Looking back I wish I had done it sooner, but at least no one can say I didn't try.

It will get better with time.

Thank you MLM...I know it gets better, it's just the waiting...

And expect to have good and bad days, and sometimes it comes back to kick you in the bum.

Hoping you have good days today.

Hi WillIEver, hope you are feeling OK today.

I'm feeling much better, really rationalised it all. I think for me it is all to do with my sister who died in November 2010 of breast cancer. I think I've been numb for so long about it that all this with my ex just feels like such a massive loss again.

I KNOW in my heart I was right in my decision. I think this is all to do with my sister and dealing with stuff that's been inside me.

Hope your heart is healing too xx

Hi Hippy..

I'm sorry to hear about the very sad loss of your sister, it must still be very raw and the pain will only lessen with time. I think you're probably right, and it is another loss therefore will be even more painful for you.

Did you ever get any help? Counselling etc? Even now it would still help you know. I hope each day it gets easier xx

Thank you. I didn't get help at the time, but I am on a list for counselling now. I think it will really help.

Anyway, I didn't mean to hijack your post! Sorry!

Hope you are OK xx