Friendship gone sour...

[Topcat14]

Someone who has been quite a close friend is now really unpleasant to be around.
When you are in a friendship group and one of them you don't click with anymore, how do you stop it ruining your social life ??
This person is often around when I am socialising with others,
Always seems to have a boast, or put down ready to throw my way,
I have been polite, really tried not to react, and have managed the situation by spending less and less time with them, but this seems to be escalating their need to be abrasive to me.
Personally I think this person is narcissistic, so although has prompted my backing off through unpleasant behaviour has taken my rejection of them really badly, how dare I ??? And is hell bent of making me pay !

at jam jar! What a bitch!

If she brags about how her stuff is better than yours or that your car is shit, smile and say "yes, some people are really into materialistic stuff, aren't they?"

You have described exactly what is happeining to DD at school. This nasty child is sabotaging all of DD's friendships so that DD feels isolated. It got so bad the other week that the learning mentor got involved. She told DD to put her hand up and say "I'm not interested" if nasty child made a put down remark.

I love the "that's nice dear" remark though.

I wouldn't bother with comeback quips suggested here or making it some kind of silly game. This girl used to be your friend. Do you know what has gone wrong in her life to make her so angry? you just say you don't click anymore and yet she used to be a close friend. What has happened?

I feel a bit sorry for your friend as she sounds insecure and is being nasty by way of compensation.

If you don't want to continue your friendship and are not interested in knowing why she has lost her way, then the best thing to do is perhaps avoid her altogether so that she isn't faced with you blatantly blanking her.

If she subsequently asks why you are avoiding her maybe you just say that you have been feeling down and not up to much and that you hope she is ok.

Dont make her life more shit than it already sounds. Let others do it for you. There are lots of people on here who are obviously capable of making her feel shitty and insignificant.

she has been a good friend, with a tendancy to put her foot in it, and the occassional cutting remark that I have took to be just a reflection of her low self esteem, not thought too much of it, and just got on with having her in my life.
Things started to change when I started to get to know other people more, I was new to the area, the more I got to know others, the more frequent and cutting her put downs became, hence my theory that it is driven by a sense of rejection. I always invited along to everything, never excluded or sidelined. just got to know other people better.
So I did have a couple of talks with her, said that we have been good friends, that I would like us to be there for each other, and for that to continue, could she please stop what feels like the put downs.
after that, she got worse. Much more abrasive, hence my backing off, and not wanting to spend time with her although kind of having to, because she is part of my social group.
I have never ever been critical or rude to her, just ignored the inappropriate comments, and responded sociably when she is.
But it continues. After interacting with her I feel crap, its such hard work.
Yes, she perceives aspects of her life to be shit, I think she doesnt acknwledge the really great things she has. She does have problems, I have tried to be there for her, but it is not working, and I'm so fed up with it.
she does have her problems, but she's pushed me too much now to care.

You can't avoid this woman unless you never leave the house because I assume you use the same shops, parks, schools etc. So action of some kind is needed.

Reasonable didn't work.

She gloats about you letting her bully you.

One well timed public comment will either shut her up permanently or ensure that she actively avoids you in future. Either way looks like a result to me!