How to communicate with DH....

[WisteriaWoman]

DH is v kind etc etc but the way we communicate is dreadful and it is really getting me down. He always sounds annoyed with me in his tone of voice. It's like he barks at me! Unfortunately I'm fed up with ignoring it and respond in similar tone of voice.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to improve our communication. I was wondering if Super Nanny could come and help!

Have you told him how he sounds and asked him to change his tone of voice? Worked for me - dp sounds really snappy when he's stressed which I assumed meant I'd done something to piss him off. He now tries to moderate it and even if he's not ready to discuss it he reassures me it's not my fault iyswim.

Record him when he's talking to you - don't tell him or he'll alter his tone of voice. Don't record him when you're arguing, just when you're having a 'normal' conversation.

Play it back to him when you have enough time to discuss it. Ask him how he thinks anyone would respond to being talked to like that.

Ooh good advice, Imperial.

What does he do for a living. My ex SIL - a primary school teacher - used to talk to me in the same bossy,condescending tones she probably used to keep a class of 6 year-olds in check. (I was so pleased when she and DB got divorced....)

Great suggestions as always. I love the idea of recording him! BTW he used to be a lecturer so maybe that explains it. Purple - i have tried explaining to him about his tone of voice but maybe I have to try harder.
Thanks again, it's really helped me feel better.
Have a on me!

If you've tried and he hasn't made an effort to change, you need a new tactic. It worked for me because dp listened and acted on what I said.