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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do I tell him??

28 replies

marathonrunner · 27/04/2012 23:27

I posted about this guy a few weeks ago but need further advice from wise Mumsnetters!!

There is this guy that I really like and have done so for quite some time. Recently, we have started chatting more and more. Today he came over to mine for a cup of tea and we chatted for ages. I am desperate to tell him how much I like him but have no idea what to say. We are both really shy and I feel so embarrassed. I am 99% certain he feels the same way.

Very big complication is that I am moving 100 miles away in 10 days. I would love to tell him before I went though because I know he is unhappy in this city so if he felt the same you just never know something could come of it.

Help please!!!!

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 27/04/2012 23:30

you have to tell him! why dont you just invite him over again and during the conversation tell him that you will really miss him when you go....

thats what i did.
DH and i used to work together. he was leaving. i was dreading it. really dreading it.
i turned up at his flat and told him i was going to miss him. i ended up throwing my arms around him and he said he had changed his mind.....Grin
the rest is history!

izzyizin · 27/04/2012 23:34

I would suggest you say something along the lines of 'I've really enjoyed your company, I almost feel sorry I'm moving, but maybe you could come visit me sometime?'.

Hopefully, he'll respond with 'When?' Grin but, if not, no doubt you'll exchange numbers (if you haven't done so already) and can continue to get acquainted with each other at a distance which may lead to the pair of you meeting up again.

Original poster
marathonrunner · 27/04/2012 23:36

I have already suggested that he and his daughter come and visit us and he did seem amenable to it but I only said it in a half hearted way. Perhaps I should say it again but make it clear I meant it.

OP posts:
doormat · 27/04/2012 23:38

aww how cute :) deffo tell him x

also absence makes the heart grow fonder ...gud luk x

TheSinglePringleWillicopters · 27/04/2012 23:39

Tell him!

Original poster
marathonrunner · 27/04/2012 23:39

What EXACTLY should I say??!! You've got to help a shy lady out!!!

OP posts:
TheSinglePringleWillicopters · 27/04/2012 23:42

Just say exactly how uou feel!

That you don't want to leave without telling him that you like him and have for a while. That you have always felt too shy to say anything until you realised you won't see him as much

Original poster
marathonrunner · 27/04/2012 23:44

I can't believe I haven't said anything before tbh, what an idiot. He lives on my street FGS!! He lives about 20 doors down (it's a long street!!)

OP posts:
izzyizin · 27/04/2012 23:45

You've answered your own question; you invite him again and this time sound as if you mean it Grin

MayaAngelCool · 27/04/2012 23:47

Show him this thread. Wink

TheSinglePringleWillicopters · 27/04/2012 23:47

I haven't had this experience myself but I understand the nerves

It could turn into something a lot more and could be the start of a new life for you.

But if not least you won't spend the rest of your life regretting not telling him and wondering what if

Original poster
marathonrunner · 27/04/2012 23:49

I'm so sure he feels the same way. Even if I have got it wrong then I'm moving so I can be Blush from a distance!!

OP posts:
TheSinglePringleWillicopters · 27/04/2012 23:51

I think you should go for it! Like you said you are moving anyway.

You never know he might say something first

ThatVikRinA22 · 27/04/2012 23:53

if you cant bring yourself to get pissed and throw yourself at him then i suggest the following.....

ask him out. ask him out for a drink, say its a "leaving" drink, (a bit of dutch courage!) and as you are chatting, try and link arms as your walking, or get a bit closer to him, and say "i will really miss doing this when ive moved, im really going to miss you" and see what he says/does....

BertieBotts · 27/04/2012 23:59

Do you have any way of keeping in touch with him when he goes? If not, ask for his phone number/email/facebook, and then, use it!

Angelico · 28/04/2012 00:05

Tell him!!! I like Izzy's thing of the come visit, exchange number etc.

Or the getting pissed and throwing yourself into his arms :o

Mogyzogwon · 28/04/2012 13:29

Goodbye drink is a good idea, then tell him you will miss him and his company.

If it goes pear shaped, don't worry, you are moving in a few days.

Good luck and get on with it !!!!!!!

You have nothing to loose.

Original poster
marathonrunner · 28/04/2012 22:04

This may be dutch courage talking as i have been on the cocktails but i am going to say something on Monday when i see him. will report back!!

OP posts:
Mumsyblouse · 28/04/2012 22:07

Go for it, the worst that can happen is he's flattered but not keen, the best is, well, it could be something amazing. Stand a bit close to him, break the barrier by touching his arm in conversation, if that fails, blurt it out. You are moving anyway!

BlueRinse · 28/04/2012 22:10

You HAVE to say something!!

You are leaving in 10 days so you have nothing to lose!!!!!

Have another cocktail and then call him!!

I am excited on your behalf, you will be able to tell this by the over use of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s

Do it Do it Do it Do it

MadamTwoSwords · 29/04/2012 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
marathonrunner · 30/04/2012 10:14

OMG,I just texted him!! (Chickened out of telling him when I saw him this morning). Told him that I thought he was lovely and that I would love him to come and visit. He said he would love to come and visit- eek!! Grin

OP posts:
TheSinglePringleWillicopters · 30/04/2012 10:18

runner that's a good start! Now you have just got to throw yourself at him next Grin

Original poster
marathonrunner · 30/04/2012 14:22

I've got to go to the school in 55 minutes and feeling rather nervous now. Going to be rather mortifying if he doesn't mention the text messages Blush Would rather he said something first so I don't look like weird stalker woman.

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 30/04/2012 14:25

Don't be surprised if he doesn't mention the texts... it's not easy for him either.

Just kiss him x :)

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