I have broken off a relationship with someone whose behaviour was very upsetting, interspersed with long good periods.
Looking back on it, I have written down everything that bothered me about this man and am in shock when I look at it as a list like this. I always knew it wasn't right however - verbal/emotional abuse.
I'm writing out the list here to remind me of why I got out:
Withholds affection
Withholds information
Evasive
Uses silent treatment
Gets angry and defensive if challenged on behaviour
Never apologises
Never accepts any responsibility
Will rarely commit to anything if asked to go somewhere - always vague
Waits til last minute to let you know he's not going to make an event
Frequently walks away from online conversations without any warning. No explanations ever given the next day.
Blames the other person and points out their inadequacies as the root of the problem, if challenged. Says I am cynical, over-sensitive, paranoid, over-analytical - all of these set me up for depression (so he says)
Denies conversations happened
Forgets important conversations or details
Ignores you when he knows you are trying to get hold of him
Does not respond to calls or texts when he knows you are upset
Befriended an adult dating site on FB then said it was a mistaken accepted friend request and evaded questions about it
Called his mum a cunt
Called his ex a psycho bitch
Called another ex a cocksucker
Once called me a fucking idiot and dim. When I challenged him and said it was disrespectful, he said 'So what? Has anyone ever told you that you over-analyse things?'
Uses unpleasant language when talking about other women. Referred to one woman as an ugly bitch with a speech impediment
It would be good to talk to others about this and get it out of my system.