Worried about my friend.

[bibbitybobbity]

Not sure if I should be or not or if I should say anything.

We have known each other since secondary school and she has always been shy and quiet. Sort of kept to herself I guess. She is friendly and can be chatty but not in big groups. It is like her interests don't really match? Doesn't like going to the pub / bit old fashioned about swearing and stuff. We are now both 25 so I figure that this is just her character.

She is really old fashioned about men and relationships and seems shy around men in general. She lives at home still but is a carer as well as working outside the home. So she doesn't seem to have much free time for socialising.

I just worry because she never meets anyone! She has really traditional views on marriage and dating (is Christian) but I just don't see how she is going to meet a man to marry (eventually) if she is always doing duties around the house and is shy. She is so good with kids they just love her and she has talked about wanting children (after marriage of course!! ) but doesn't seem to be getting anywhere.

Maybe she is happy how she is but I worry that she will wake up at 50 and not be married or have kids or anything in her life.

I think she is using being a Christian to avoid intimacy. I have plenty of friends who are Christians, and although many of them wanted to save full sexual intercourse til their wedding nights, they certainly didn't save anything else, and did lots of kissing and having fun, and this includes very strict Christian sects, let alone C of E types. Most churches (in cities, where there are youth groups) encourage young people to mix together, get to know one another, so the whole relationship/marriage thing is not a big surprise. The fact that she has never had a boyfriend is more about her fear of this than her Christianity IMO.

I am not sure how you can help her, actually, going to a church group where there are a lot of young people, or Spring Harvest or some such holiday might help her get a better sense of how her faith can sit with relationships and how other young Christians solve these dilemmas. They don't all sit in waiting for a first kiss on their marriage day, I assure you.

bibbitybobbitybunny is my Easter name. Must get round to changing back ...

Baubleybobbityhat or bibbitybobbitysantahat at Christmas.

Bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe at Halloween.