Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Kick me up the bum. I need a damn good talking to.

6 replies

Herecomesbod · 26/04/2012 19:38

Just had an epic row with DH. Bit of context - came home after a particularly long day & am 4 months pg so not on top form. Am going away for work on Sat so DD will be staying at GPs for 10 days, so tonight was the last time I'd spend with her for a while. (DH and I work together at same firm, and will be travelling/working together - this happens a couple of times a year).

Almost as soon as I walked in, DH started talking at me about some work stuff. All I wanted to do was see DD, play then do bedtime with her, but DH just wasn't getting the message, even when I said "just give me a minute." I got tutting and eye rolling.

Fast forward to DD's bedtime. She was obviously getting to the overtired stage and shouting for Daddy, who at this point appeared to be stone deaf. Then she's crying, nothing I do is right, she wants Daddy. So I shout down "I think she wants you!" He then stomps upstairs, muttering. DD meanwhile is playing up and refusing to clean teeth. I've had enough by now and just want to give her a story and cuddles. I say "oh ok why doesn't everyone just do exactly what they want?" I go downstairs as DH is now taking over, but he shouts down "what have you done to DD? She's hurt her mouth."

This is a red rag to a bull. I have never, will never, hurt DD deliberately. I tell him I haven't hurt her, but I bet it's probably from running around the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth. Hint - DH - it's you that allows her to do this.

He says I've been in a shitty mood since I got in and it's only got worse. I say that's not true. He then tells me to shut up. Again - red rag. I hate this because it smacks of him trying to put the little woman in her place. I grab my keys and head for the car. I cannot be around him when he's like this. He starts shouting in my face (ok I can give it back but I think it's better to walk away).

Am now a few miles away thinking I'm a bit calmer and should just go home and probably apologise but just working up to doing it and also don't know what to say. We've had rows before but he never seems to understand I hate being 'talked at'.

What's most upset me is missing DD's bedtime. What an idiot I am.

In the interests of balance, DH is loving, kind, a great dad and husband and very thoughtful. He just abso-fucking-lutely does my bloody head in sometimes.

Go ahead, kick me up the bum and shout at me to go home. And thanks for reading!

OP posts:
izzyizin · 26/04/2012 19:43

Consider yourself kicked. Now go home and get as many cuddles with your dd as possible before your trip.

izzyizin · 26/04/2012 19:44

The above should of course BE IN CAPS to indicate shouting.

Share a few cuddles with your dh tonight, too.

Yama · 26/04/2012 19:48

Go home. I'd hate my dh to leave the house in the middle of an argument.

Herecomesbod · 26/04/2012 19:51

Thanks for the kicking. Much appreciated (truly, am now crying at thought of missing DD).

Think all this stems from hating having to go away again and dreading leaving her, but selfishly wanting to work, as I love it. Please tell me the working parent guilt abates...

Going home right now.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 26/04/2012 19:59

IME the working parent guilt NEVER abates but it does get easier to live with as the dc grow bigger and begin to lead their own separate lives.

MerryMarigold · 26/04/2012 20:29

She may have been playing up because she knew she wasn't going to see you for a while...consider yourself kicked! Now get up early together and spend some quality time cuddling in bed.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page