Would I cause myself more problems

[dawningrealisation]

If I took DD and went to my mum's tomorrow without telling DH?

Name change as he knows my usual username. I'm sure if he wanted to he would be able to work out my password and find this one too, but I doubt it would occur to him to bother.

I don't think I can carry on with this relationship. But I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have a toddler so can't manage alone right now. Mum is 5 hours drive away. I need time to think. He, and everyone else, will probably just say I'm being hormonal. But I don't want DD growing up thinking this is how relationships should be. I'm doing everything alone, except earning the money. Not abusive. Just shit.

Sorry, it's all a load of waffle. I'm trying to bath DD at the same time and my thoughts are muddled anyway. By more problems, I mean if this all ends badly and we don't improve things, would it count against me if I'd gone away. I doubt very much that he'd want custody of DD - I don't think he's ever cooked her a meal - but I couldn't live without her.

Hmm I wouldn't really recommend you go without telling him, unless you are worried he will become abusive if you do? Could you set off then text him on the way if so? Imagine it will infuriate him either way then you may have to come home to it :(

I'm guessing that your desire to get away from him may stem from his ability to convince you that black is white?

In these circumstances, I don't see it as unreasonable for you to take your dd and all important paperwork/birth certs/passports etc and set off for a leisurely drive to go stay with your dm in order to get some perspective on, and distance from, what is clearly an unsatisfactory relationship for you.

I suggest you leave him a note saying that you've gone to stay with your dm to get some much needed rest and that you'll call him over the course of the weekend.

I also suggest that, before you consider returning, you change your name once more and post here again giving a potted history of your marriage, and what's bought you to this point, so that others can give you the benefit of their collective wisdom.

Perhaps I'll just tell him in the morning as he leaves for work that we're going. Any conversation will just end in him thinking I'm hormonal/ depressed and won't be productive. Thanks.

Oh fuck I've gone. Told him I was going this morning but he didn't take me seriously. Have confirmed by text. Haven't cancelled work so plan to be back by Wednesday. Half way now. 2 more hours driving to go.

Keep on truckin'. honey. Not the nicest day for a drive but you'll get there and you can always cancel work if you change your plans.

keep going.
dont answer phone to him. let him leave voice messages so you can see if he raging/begging/pleading or whatever.

jus send text messages saying "me and dc are fine. i need some rest. we will talk when i back"

What do I do now? I'm at mums. Sent text 3.30 to say we'd arrived safely. Do I just do nothing now? Not ready for a conversation. Feel stupid though, and quite mean. Oh shit. Big mistake probably.