Am I being precious, or is this a bit rude?

[OracleInaCoracle]

my mum and her dh look after DS for me two days a week, after school, while I am at work. they have him for just shy of 2 hours and I pay them for it. Not a lot, but 1/6th of my wages. they pick him up from school, bring him back to my house and watch him til I get home.

yesterday, I got home from work and my brother and his wife were here too. I dont actually mind them being here, its the fact that I wasnt consulted, this is my house and I wouldnt invite anyone else (related or not) to their house while they werent there. its like entering without knocking (which, incidentally, they also do) I was really quite pissed off about it, but I am in a lot of pain at the moment and am grouchy from that.

help me put this in perspective, or tell me if I am right to be a little narked.

Difficult,i think i wouldn't mind if it were my brother but if i didn't like him then i probably would mind.

However i would have a fit if it were DPs family who are nosey beyond belief and would be rifling through everything.
I wouldn't let his parents here alone,once years ago,when they were staying with us (and we were still all speaking!) they videoed round the whole house and showed it to all their friends and family when they got home.
We got a call from SIL saying what a lovely house we had and she had never been there!

I have a key to my Mum's and always just let myself in and i wouldn't mind if she did the same at reasonable hours of the day.

As someone else said all families are different.

I think yabu i wouldnt have a problem with it ( and i dont even particularly like my brother)

Its not my brother that I have an issue with, its the fact that they arranged it without consulting me. They picked up db and sil on the way, and all sat in my house drinking tea etc, without my knowledge. I wouldn't dream of doing that.

If you are not particularly close then maybe it is a bit weird then but I like some of the others would love it if all the family were round having a cuppa when I got home and vice verse, in fact in the school holidays and we are not due out till later and the cleaner is at mine I just let myself into my mums with the DSs and help myself to her coffee and food

In all seriousness though it is all about the boundaries you are comfortable with, maybe you should just have a quiet work with your DM and say you would prefer it if she asked first and definitely keep knocking the door, although there would be no harm to leave it unlocked when you know they are coming at a particular time.

As you are not close to them it is just like a random friend doing the same, some of my friends come round and help themselves to tea or food without asking but there are people that I would not expect to do this and would be quite annoyed if they did!

I would have zero problem with this - my home is open to my family always, whether I know about it or not. But each to their own - I think you should have a quiet word with your DM about how it made you feel.

Best wishes.

I would have zero problem with this - my home is open to my family always, whether I know about it or not. But each to their own - I think you should have a quiet word with your DM about how it made you feel.

Best wishes.