How do I leave?

[georgesmummy11]

I already have a post on here about our "relationship" but want so advice from people that have left there "DH/OH".

I don't have much money only work 19 hours a week (I know I would get government help) we have a house together joint mortgage we have a car together joint loan, and a joint account (we also have our own accounts) where he keeps all his money to himself and I'm left to struggle
I love my home but there is no way I can afford it myself.
We have a 15month son together.
Where would I even start

Contact the CAB.....they will be able to advise you clearly. Does DH know that you a leaving him? Could you put the house on the market? I lived with my STBXH until we sold our property, and then moved into rented but if I remember one conversation that I had with the housing benefit, they said they would pay housing benefit for upto a year whilst the property is on the market if you were to get another place......but please check that out before you do anything as it may differ from area to area. Good luck xx

do you have a relative that you can 'sofa surf' for a while to get yourself together??.

I think most solicitors that specialise in family law offer a free 30 minute consultation when you are in this position. I know the place I went to did and it really helped to clarify my options and I felt tons better once I knew what to expect on the financial side.

I would recommend trying to work some of the practicalities out before you make a move towards separation. If you can manage to save up some money in advance that could be useful. Agree with Londis that you can see the lawyer for free initial consultation. That will be about the legals of separation. Assuming that you are the main caregiver for your child, I'd recommend trying to stay in the house, at least initially, unless you have to get out for safety reasons or something. Get him to move out and stay with a friend if you possibly can. It could be more difficult to get back in once you've left it. I initially thought that I would need to leave the house but a friend advised me to stay in it and with kids as much as possible. I did that and totally advise others to do similarly if they can. Good luck. x

Try contacting Gingerbread regarding money and benefits, they will give you a detailed check on what you're entitled to.

Thank you for the replies Iv not been back on as the internets been playing up

Iv still not properly made a decision on what to do my heads a mess.
I'm starting to save a bit more money just incase and thinking of joining the law club at work for free legal advice.

whatever you do, don't leave the family home - you stay put, he leaves. you're stronger in law that way, also emotionally and financially plus it's less stress for your child. Good luck.