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Relationships

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Original poster

ExH wants to claim the Child Allowance

38 replies

thebighouse · 24/04/2012 19:21

We are getting divorced. He earns over twice my salary but will not pay any maintenance as we have 50 / 50 custody.

He wants to claim the Child Allowance so that I won't ever make a claim on his salary. But I don't earn much and need the money. I also don't want to give it up.

What can I do?

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 24/04/2012 20:47

Christ almighty, this is so wrong. Please get really good legal advice now.

Oakmaiden · 24/04/2012 21:01

Well, I don't see what is so intrinsically wrong with the parent who works part time being the primary carer? Is the problem that he is a man, or that he earns more than the OP?

Op - do you think the financial split (apart from this CB issue) is fair? Presumably once he buys you out of the house you will have more money to go and get yourself a nicer place?

Ho is the 50-50 actually going to work. When are they going to be with you, and when with him? Who is going to be buying school uniforms, shoes, paying for piano lessons or whatever?

wheresmywaist · 24/04/2012 21:01

My ExDH claims CB for our eldest child and i claim for our youngest - could this be an option as it's 50/50, although we are both on low incomes so both need the money!

BustersOfDoom · 24/04/2012 21:03

No, no and thrice no! Please get some good legal advice. It cannot be right that you are all in a flat whilst he is in the marital home. And you have to put the short term wants of your children after their longer term needs. He is shafting you financially. And your lawyer doesn't seem to be very good at their job if he is letting this situation continue.

Imperial I'm always shocked by how few people known about the protection that CB gives them towards their State Pension.

Berts · 24/04/2012 21:08

Shop around for a new lawyer - see a few for the initial 30 minute consultation and see which one you get the best feel for and who seems most interested in looking after YOU.

Remember, your solicitor works for YOU.

neuroticmumof3 · 24/04/2012 21:08

You say he's very aggressive, are you sure the children should be spending 50% of their time with him?

MushroomSoup · 24/04/2012 21:59

Do you share 50/50 each week? Me and Ex share the kids equally and we were told (through solicitors & family courts, although ten yrs ago) that whoever had kids for 4 of the 7 nights got child benefit and was classed as primary carer/resident parent. So it's calculated on the number of nights, so even if you did exactly 3 and a half days each, the parent with the four nights wins out.

mercibucket · 24/04/2012 22:26

I think you should be very careful here. There is perhaps an ulterior motive of getting residency, esp as he only works part time and wants to keep house
How can he buy you out if you are splitting all assets 50:50? Are you sure you are getting a good deal on the divorce?

TheHappyHissy · 24/04/2012 22:59

thebighouse - forgive me and please correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't you been on the EA threads? Isn't this guy abusive? he's certainly trying to call the shots here, controlling you and now potentially trying to remove all kinds of benefits to you.

Get legal advice FAST, challenge this 50/50 thing.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 24/04/2012 23:05

Has your solicitor talked to you about your claim on any other assets of the marriage? His pension? Savings or other investments?

It sounds like he is steamrollering you completely here.

Do you realise that you don't have to do as he tells you any longer?

IAmBooyhoo · 24/04/2012 23:17

who is providing the majority of care OP? who was doing the majority before the split?

Northernlurker · 24/04/2012 23:40

I agree you need a different solicitor. Don't give up anything until you've spoken to another.

What's happening about his pension? If you've spent time out of the job market raising your kids whilst he paid in to his pension you may be entitled to a share of that pot too.

OP - You won't get a second chance at this. Your financial sercurity and your children's well being are at stake. Get what you need, NOT just what he will allow you without being unpleasant. I can se why you're getting divorced btw.....

gobbledegook1 · 24/04/2012 23:42

I have been through this myself to a degree.

The person who claims the child benefit is the only person who can then claim child tax credit for that child (and DLA where applicable). So if you give up your child benefit you will also lose your child tax credits unless its done off the record with you just giving him the child benefit in person.

As someone else said if you don't agree to who gets it between you and he puts in a claim the benefits agency will award it to the person who has the most nights not the person on the lowest income, the system is a bit of an arse.

I have my eldest son on a shared residency basis (and is in a court order). However because his dad has the majority share I am not entitled to anything despite the fact that he was working full time and I was / am out of work and thus finding funding his time with me difficult especially as I do all the picking up and dropping off which costs a fortune as he's not local and doesn't drive.

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