To those praying that their emotional/domestic abuser will change...

[Holly546]

I have been here before (previously trestired/I am the mummy)

I would firstly like to again thank all the lovely women who have supported me through my trauma. Just a word of caution, I left but got reeled back in AGAIN. BUT because I am not going back singing a merry dance this time,the fucker kicked off again revealing himself to be the monster that I remember. Controlling. Demanding. Manipulative. Vile. So I just wanted to say well done to all the women that are going through hell to escape and to tell them to watch their backs when they might start letting nostalgia for their old lives take a grip at 6 months free ( but still in their grip if you know?)
NOW I know I did the right thing despite my life being a bit of a shambles.

Sorry for the rant but I asked myself and convinced myself a million times that he could change. He can't. He's a twat and their isn't a cure for that yet (I don't think...)

I wish all of you well. Now I will get back to the proper thread.

Snap. IF YOU GET OUT, NEVER GO BACK.

I left in 2004 and he promised me he would change, that he'd get a joint account so I wouldn't have to beg for money, he wouldn't shout at me any more, he wouldn't call me a cunt, too stupid to cook a ready meal etc.... hE'S allow me to drive 'his' car. I wrote a list of what HAD to change and he agreed to it all. I went back. which was a big deal after having worked up the courage to leave.. 6 weeks later it was as bad as ever. He refered to my tinpot parade. He was snide about my having left him before. No joint bank account. Clearly the message I'd REALLY given him was that he could treat me however badly he liked and I would go back for more.

I felt like I'd used up a lot of energy leaving the first time, and it was undoubtedly harder the second time. Left for good 2007. He hasn't changed.