Does he help with anything?

[JazleEd]

Does your Husband/ boyfirend/partner help you with anything such as the children, housework, money?

Also does he have anything that he spends hundreds of thousands of money on even though you don't have any money left after the bills?

or is it just me?

Sounds like you have a right catch there OP

My husband kind of same - what he did for family was just bringing money in (and spending a lot of them on his own so we never saved anything). So I was feeling alone in that marriage, no help at all, being limited, so I left him. And it is easier, everybody is happy.
Hope you will be doing better, fingers crossed for you to improve it somehow.

What do you mean "help"?

Ex did his share of work in the home. Granted, it was not as much as it should be, but it was never "help".

My husband doesn't "help" me, he does his share of housework / childcare and he is the only breadwinner so the money goes towards our family.
I thought this was what all husbands did.

Decent men don't "help" with their own children and household chores, they do their fair share willingly - as long as both parties agree on what consitutes a fair share, it's different depending on family dynamics.
Nor do they spend family money on themselves whilst leaving their family to go without.

sorry Lueji i meant does he do things without having to nag him? like cleaning the dishes?

DH does most stuff.
i'm the one hat needs nagging.

I tend to do the "big" stuff like spring cleaning and clearing out. he does most of the day-to-day stuff.

My DH and I share household duties and childcare equally between us (he maybe does a tiny bit more). We both work and all money is joint. Major purchases to be agreed by both of us in advance. Sounds like you don't have a great deal OP.

hes a top bloke, i dont mean to make him sound bad, i love him i do, he just sticks to what he does best, and since im best with the baby he leaves it to me. i just think hes worried he'll make things worse when shes crying, he plays with her all day and gives her cuddles and buy her stuff. its just when shes down he doesnt do anything, i think he gets worried.

plus i dont work, so i cant help with money

my dh contributes massively..by making a mess in the house...he wont lift a finger, unless i am ill and even then it is not up to my standards...so i go over what he has done

"Top blokes" don't spend money on themselves if it means the bills don't get paid.
Selfish twats do though.

Doormat, are you surprised your DH doesn't do more?
Every time he does something you redo it because "it's not up to your standards"?

My DH doesn't "help" or "babysit" but he does what needs to be done at home same as I do.
We both work full time, all money is joint and all major purchases agreed together.

Dh doesnt 'help me' he does a fair share of what needs to be in the house.

In short:
The bins...half the laundry...the yarden...a small amount of food shopping...a bit of general tidying....dishes at the weekend....bath and bottle dd every evening....gets up through the night with her on fris and sats...hoovers.

no tantrum i am not suprised and that is why i dont complain that he does no housework lol...just meerly stating that my dh contributes by making a mess

Don't you want him to do more though?

DH does his fair share. he works from home, a lot of evening hours, whereas i work ft, daytime, in an office.

i take care of kitchen/meals - food shop, meal planning, most cooking, properly cleaning kitchen weekly, mopping floor etc. he makes his own snacks and often unpacks/stacks dishwasher.

he does laundry, takes out bins, and does all hoovering/sweeping. he also cleans the bathtub; i do the loos.

i have back/neck probs so anything hoovery or scrubby is his domain.

no baby yet but i'm pg and he's already reading books about how to help with breastfeeding and so on. when babe is here and mat leave is over, i'll go back 3-4 days a week, and he'll do childcare at least one weekday per week.

it's not about "helping", as others said, it's a shared life and he's got to pull his weight.

I am a SAHM so expect to do most of the stuff around the home. However, DH does the bins, the washing up, mows the lawn and deals with all bills. He also gets up with ds2 in the mornings and puts him to bed most evenings (after ds2 is fed and bathed). I don't have to ask him to do any of those, they are what he does.

Additionally he will ask if I 'need anything doing' and will muck in with anything I tell him about.

I don't know how much he spends on his hobby (golf) although he will usually mention a large purchase (new driver, for e.g), but I don't expect him to. But we are comfortably-off and he pays a set amount into my account on a monthly basis to cover my and the dcs needs.

tantrum no, the only thing i would like him to do is not make as much mess.. would make my job easier and quicker... i have just learnt to accept it and get on with it, yet my daughters have fab hubbys who do all sorts of housework etc...my dh doesnt have this quality but has other good points that i cant argue about x