He is finally moving out!!!

[Sam1973]

Me and my DH split in January but it has been really difficult to get him to leave. He now has a house and is moving in on Friday. My dad is taking the kids away for the weekend ( was planned ages ago) so we decided was best for him to go while they are away-so they dont have to watch him leave.

My dilema is do we tell them he is moving out before they go away for the weekend or do i tell them when they come back. I am leaning towards telling them when they come back so they can have a nice weekend- but thought i would get a second opinion on here?

Also- is it normal to feel so incredably sad that its all coming to an end? I dont want him back but it really feels like the end of an era....

How old are the children? Are they aware that you've split up?

I'd tell them before, just so it doesn't come as a shock when he's not there when they get back. Also so they don't become reluctant to go away incase something happens while they are gone.

But do it in a cheerful low key way, and if possible can they visit their Dad ASAP? To see his new home, and that he is okay, and still loves them etc.

I would tell them when they got back, it may ruin their weekend away or make them not want to go

If they're older tell them before they go, so they don't think you were both waiting for them to be away for it to happen.
Could they even pop in for half an hour before going so they can have a look round and be happy with where their Dad is?

Do they know he will be leaing at some point?

I agree with mummytime, for the same reason, tell them before they go. You could try and get them excited about getting a new, extra bedroom, garden etc (if this applies), maybe they can help choose how to decorate their new room? The prospect of this might soften the blow a bit, iyswim.

The kids will be fine if you both treat it as if it's okay.

And, yes, even if the ending is right for you it is absolutely normal to feel sad. And scared and uncertain. It will ease over time, but is a grief like any other.

Tell them beforehand, but is there no chance that you can accompany your dad so that you can be with them this weekend? If not, is your dad emotionally intelligent enough to deal with their feelings?

It's very important that you don't create an association with people going missing when they go away, as another poster has said. I'd second the advice that your husband involves them in his new home so that they can treat it as their home too. Feelings of sadness for you are normal.

My children are 5 & 9. They know we have split up and have been to Daddy's new house while he has been getting it ready. They are very excited about their new bunk beds. They have a room each with me but he can only afford a 2 bedroom. I am taking them to get new bedding for their bunk beds tomorrow.

His new house is also very near their school friends which they are very happy about. They have handled it really well so far, just not sure how it will go when he has gone

charbon- cant really accompany them as i was in a road traffic accident last week and my back is bad- i live next door to my dad so he will help me. He is most definitely emotionally intelligent enough to deal with their feelings- i brought me up on his own so has had to be :)

If they know as much as that then tell them ... all excited of course... that Dad will be moving to his new house at the weekend and they'll be visiting in due course. Shouldn't be a major suprise or trauma given what they know already.