couple counselling, anyone given it a try?

[fedupwithlife]

It was actually my dp that suggested going councelling, its a last ditch attempt to try and sort things out our relationship has just been a merry go round, round and round in circles and its all mainly down to his aggression! We can't communicate without him getting angry, he has realised he has a problem but I'm wondering if it can be sorted, he says he wants it too. Has anyone had any experience of counselling?

Couple counselling isn't recommended where is aggression/abuse from one member

The content of the sessions can be twisted and used against you

Do you think thre is a chance that might happen ?

well the councellor knows about it! :-/

I have tried couple counselling with not much success I'm afraid.
DP lied so much in the sessions to try and make himself look good that they didn't help us.
Sorry

:-( hmmm thats what I was dreading !!!

yes ?

some counsellors are rather inexperiencd and will get fazed by an aggressive man taking over the sessions

don't say you weren't warned

you won't be able to be honest, because he will use it against you

Well I did ask I suppose lol!

sorry, I sound like your agressive partner, don't I ?

I am right though

the best advice ?

don't try and find a way to stay with an aggressive man

It seems to me that he needs counselling in the form of anger management sessions and you need counselling for yourself to work out why you tolerate his aggression - if a man behaved aggressively to me they'd only do so once and thereafter they'd be history.

And he's also a liar? The writing's on the wall, honey. Ignore it at your peril.

Well I just thought I would update you all. Couselling has really helped, mainly because he wanted to , I have to say he is a different person, not as angry with the world, time will tell if it works long term but I am now very happy, so don't always think counselling is a bad thing as it worked for us, but like I said BOTH parties need to want it, plus we had a very good counsellor. Don't always give up on your partner!

sometimes it is worth fighting for!!!

You need to be very careful that he hasn't just turned the anger into some other form of abuse. There is a certain type of man described in Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That, who will admit fault and go through all the motions of improving but remain passive aggressive and entitled.

As Anyfucker said in April, counselling is not suitable for abusive relationships. So be cautious.

yes just trying to be positive and not negative all the time. I'm not stupid so I will look out for it, but there is definate improvement and he has dealt with issues in there which I witnessed. I will be cautious though.