can someone on the stately homes thread read my message and help me xxx

[fortoday]

tia x

Cut the ties. Let her go.

Then YOU get to love that little girl, to tell her it'll be ok, that she's safe nowm YOU have to do that. You can do it, but you'll need support, from here, and in RL. You need a counsellor.

Can you push for therapy, NHS or if you can manage to fund it yourself, orivate.

These wounds won't heal by themselves, but if you take the time to care for you, for that little girl, you'll begin to heal her pain.

You're at the beginning of a journey to a safe and happy place, to freedom, to the life you deserve.

thehappyhissy- i am at the beginning of therapy- i spent two hrs during my first session talking about the past my counsellor cried- not sure if they are meant to do that but i'm like a robot, i tell it like it someone elses sad story. i have two little girls they were 3 and 2 at the time- poor babies- my husband and i never argue they don't know fear or didn't until that night and i put them in that position x

You have to forgive yourself for that. You were conditioned by the evil witch for years. But now you can break out and not put your little girls, or yourself, through it again. It will be fine.

No, counsellors are meant to be detached, not to cry, but it's nice that she cared so much.

My youngest who is 3 a few weeks said in the car yesterday that isn't frightened of nanny but frightened of grandma- unprovoked! Poor babies. I never talk about my mom with the kids and they never ask to see her x

So why are you imposing her on them????

Think long and hard about your paralysis. Kids come first ALWAYS.

Fortoday Read "Healing the Child Within" by Charles Whitfield. I too had massive issues with my mum and this helped me in the early days on my road to accepting what had happened to me.

Take care of yourself and your little family (who, by the way, is you, your H and two DD's - not your mum). You need to metaphorically hug your family and turn your back towards your mum and shield yourself and your babies from her...... If you do this often, you'll become stronger and be able to distance yourself even more... Baby steps....

I have no experience of this and no words of advice, just wanted to send a gentle hug. You sound like a gentle person, with lots of love to give.

What a truly amazing person you are OP!

I've shocked my therapist a couple of times, it happens. Keep going, keep fighting for yourself, the little girl that you are, and for your family. The real one. NOT your M.

Your family will grow in strength, you will too and you will cast off the shackles and pain of the past. Your strength and bravery shine through.

You didn't do anything to your DC, your M did, and as a result will lose contact with you all.